Thanks to the good people at KEET Channel 13 and the League of Women Voters for the opportunity to see and hear in High Definition just what a douche District Attorney Paul Gallegos is.
UPDATE 7:17 p.m.
What is the worst drug problem in the county?
Allison Jackson: Methamphetamine!
Paul Hagen: “Hands down” methamphetamine!
Paul Gallegos: Alcohol. ***Crickets chirping***
UPDATE 7:28 p.m.
Gallegos tells viewers that he has worked hard for the environment to make Humboldt County “safer for living life–both human and animal.” (What a fucktard. Psssstt Paul. Don’t try and say anything Salzman didn’t make you memorize.)
UPDATE 7:42 p.m.
Should the DA’s Office investigators have assault weapons such as AR-15s?
Jackson: Nope. I’ll take away their toys when I am elected.
Hagen: Allison’s right. I can’t understand why the DA’s investigators currently have them. DA investigators are not a SWAT team.
Gallegos: AR-15s are standard issue weapons given to law enforcement officers when they complete training. It’s basic logic here. DA investigators are law enforcement folks too, therefore it’s a mistake to get rid of them. (Psssst Paul. You’re fucking it up again. Shhhhhh. Don’t say anything. Maybe it would be a good time to take a bathroom break until this debate thingie wraps up. Nobody will fault you for a weak bladder.)
UPDATE 7:50 p.m.
On whether or not the DA’s Office currently reaches out to victims and involves them in the prosecutorial process.
Gallegos (Bitchslappee): I can’t believe that question got asked. Richard said he pulled strings and that one wouldn’t be used. Well, uh, yeah, uh, sure. It’s our policy to reach out to victims. We do a great job. Especially after I have almost completely dismantled the CAST team.
Jackson (Bitchslapper): Nope. Please notice the dozens of victims and victim’s rights advocates who support me ’cause you suck so effing bad. When I am elected, I’ll fix that.
UPDATE 8:04 p.m.
What are the strengths of the DA’s office and what would you do to improve the weaknesses?
Gallegos: I really like my staff. They are a tireless group of dedicated people who work hard. Well, the ones that I haven’t fired anyway. I will continue to promote hard work for others and make them do more (while I spend waaaaayy too much time trying and fucking up high-profile cases, as well as taking waaaayy too much time off.)
Hagen: Staff are always a strength, yadda, yadda, yadda. But, weaknesses? That would be leadership. I can’t see a lot of strength there.
Jackson: Staff are always a strength, blah, blah blah. Weakness that need to be improved? There is a failure and “utter lack of administrative” capability and an inability to recruit qualified upper and middle level staff that are vital to handling big cases. Oh, and the “mind boggling” amounts of plea bargaining going on Paul’s watch. Yup, I’ll fix that too.
UPDATE 8:14 p.m.
What’s been going on with crime in the county?
Gallegos: Crime’s way down since I have been DA. Just look at the statistics.
Jackson: Oh no you didn’t just fucking say that did you? Crime is up during your two terms dumbass, just look at the statistics.
Gallegos: What the fuck, yo? I encourage people to just look at the statistics. Facts don’t lie. (Plllleeeaaaassseee tell me that my people didn’t give me bad info. I am not good with math. This is going to hurt way worse than getting busted for my “original” writings, which were plagiarized from some law professor or other articulate and smart guy.)
Statistics: Well, I haven’t officially weighed in yet, but I have to tentatively agree with Jackson on this one. Paul’s not really good with numbers. Or details. Or the law, really.