The edumacation of Mike Hislop

We get it, bro. Looking normal is way harder than most people think.

So just a little follow-up question for Sheriff-wannabe Mike-o “The Psycho” Hislop:

Did you know–and we’re just asking here–but, were you aware that when padding the ol’ ballot statement to try to convince the unwary of your, shall we say, intellectual firepower–it’s generally a good idea to make sure that the “four (4) college degrees” you boast of don’t include your associate’s degrees and trade certificates.

You know?

Because that’s the sort of thing only an uneducated buffoon would do.



23 Responses

  1. Ha ha ha. When I saw that my first thought was, damn. The sacrifices the man is making for us. It was either run for sheriff or become an Oxford don, and obviously he took the selfless route on that. We owe him. That’s all I can say. Big time.

  2. Oh and by the way, if you’re not sure how to vote in the sheriff’s race, just ask Hislop’s former colleagues at EPD. I was one of them, and I can tell you from personal experience that looking normal does not come easy for him.

  3. LOL. He’s counting his welding cert from CR and his fire suppression course from HROP. Uneducated buffoon is an understatement.

  4. One of my favorite self-destructive traits of his is his running around telling everyone in the office how he’s going to fire them when he gets hired. “We have to make tough decisions,” he says with a gleam in his eye. Fortunately, who to vote for in this race is not one of them. Hislop’s a loon.

  5. What the hell is that on his head? Looks like someone dumped a cat box on it……oh, wait, I got it, this is what the enlightened sheriff looks like!

  6. You want to see the shit go down the drain in a hurry, elect Hislop and re-elect Gallegos. That’s all we need. The immoral leading the insane.

    On the other hand, for laughs, elect Jackson and Downey. That leaves this insane mofo working for Jackson, who would no doubt make short work of his career. Girlfriend just doesn’t put up with stupid.

  7. Ok. This is funny. Keep it up, but keep it clean.

  8. I didn’t know you could get a degree in spousal abuse.

  9. Hear hear, Fred.

  10. Bugs, I loaned the hedge trimmers to the neighbors the other day and noticed a absolute plethora of PBR cans (empty, of course) I think I live next door to the Graphics Department. Drunken, slattery layabouts….,must be them!

  11. Long time follower first time poster (here). This guy is nothing but a bully driven by a huge ego.

  12. Josephine, that describes them perfectly. And Pot City, I’d say you pretty much summed it up.

  13. I didn’t know you could get a degree in spousal abuse.

    I said KEEP IT CLEAN! Unsubstantiated rumors shouldn’t be allowed.

  14. BTW; Thanx for the heads up on the candidate statements. I hadn’t really paid much attention to my sample ballot since I received it.

    Am I the only one that noticed this statement Hislop included:

    PROMOTED to Chief Investigator of the District Attorney’s Office in 2007.

    I don’t know if I’m just splitting hairs with this but I’d hardly consider applying for a job at a different agency and being hired a promotion, at least in the normal sense of the word. I’m sure it would be fair for him to say it was a step up for him (assuming he was hired right into the Chief Investigator slot), but I wouldn’t call that a promotion.

    Maybe it’s just me but it just seems to me more evidence of the ego involved with the guy. He can rightfully claim he was promoted within the Eureka Police Dept. (to sergeant), but he doesn’t mention that in his statement.

    Downey can rightfully claim he was promoted to his current position of Undersheriff since he’s always been with the Sheriff’s Office and was promoted through the ranks..

  15. Bwa ha!

  16. Hislop took over the job of Chief investigator from his father-in-law, Jim Dawson, when he retired. Nothing like a little nepotism.

  17. Does anyone know where Hislop got his B.S. degree? His bio says he got it in 1999 (while he was still working at EPD). Since Humboldt State doesn’t offer a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice, I’m interested in learning where he got his. On-line?

  18. Truth is stranger than fiction. I though Nichols was the sorry’st SOB I ‘ve ever meet but this creep Hislop might just top ol’ sneaky Pete.

  19. I have listened to both and Downey is genuine and Hislop is scary.

  20. Who gives a shit, we just want to see more of Arkleys fine photography!

    C’mon Mirror! How long does it take to upload those pics to iphoto?


  21. I almost lost my cheetos when I saw Hislop’s wife.
    HOLY SHIT! She could/should do porn.

  22. Sit tight, Arkley Obsessed!! We’ve got more good stuff coming.

    Yay us!!

  23. Hislop has been telling people he isn’t seeking endorsements, yet he’s bragging about AFSCME’s endorsemt. Maybe he should learn how to spell AFSCME. It’s not AFSME, like how you spelled it twice on your webpage. Also, AFSCME did not interview both candidates and their members didn’t vote on it.
    AFSCME’s E-board made the decision behind closed doors!
    So, nice try and glad he could manipulate one endorsement!

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