Funky Cold Desperation

Apparently this fundraiser event will be "fantastic" like combining stimulants and depressants in one drink.

After getting a lock on the grow scene folks’ vote, DA hopeful Paul Gallegos is now pandering to the people who listen to gangster-turned-crappy-rapper music.

“Sometimes, some things that don’t normally sound like a good pairing end up being fantastic. Examples: a 24-hour restaurant that serves both chicken and waffles, a depressant like alcohol and stimulant like an energy drink and locally, Humboldt County District Attorney candidate Paul Gallegos and street-gangster-turned-party-rapper Tone Loc.

-Kai Beech
Tri-City Weekly”

And sometimes, some things that don’t normally sound like a good pairing end up being mindbendingly shitty together. Such as a Tone Loc concert fundraiser for Paul Gallegos.

It’s frightening who the T-S will put behind a computer these days.

Beech might have offered up some better examples of “fantastic” than Red Bull and Denny’s to persuade me that spending money to watch Paul Gallegos and Ton Loc “mesh” on stage is even remotely a good idea. Did you just fucking write that energy drinks and 24-hour restaurants that serve chicken and waffles are fantastic? Really?

Although it’s painfully obvious that Tone Loc’s and Paul’s music, upbringing and lives couldn’t be more strikingly different, the rapper and crappy DA have one notable thing in common. Rapper Tone Loc samples other artists’ lyrics and music as part of the rap music tradition. District Attorney Paul Gallegos samples scholars’ ideas and writings he publishes as “My Word” pieces in the T-S as part of the tradition of being a giant dumbass.

Tickets are $35 advanced, $25 general and $1 if you’ve had a case mishandled or botched by Gallegos and will promise not to appear in any of  his challengers’ political ads.


18 Responses

  1. Classic, Douchebug. But when I first saw that photo I thought this was going to be a Gary Coleman post. Gags does kind of look like a young Mr. Drummond, doesn’t he?

  2. Well maybe Paul’s campaign motto should be “Hooked On…”
    Cause gettin’ hooked on things is way cool.

  3. GYRE EP 1.0 & 2.0 Videos (9 youtube videos)…

    I found your blog post interesting, so I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog 🙂 – thanks!…

  4. Hey Bugs! Say, when is that totally hot investigatory journalist going to give us the goods on Heraldo?

    And why do you Bugs get all the cool internet professionals, like Rose and her noted expertise in the legal field?

    It’s just not fair Bugsies, between mrEsquan and his mindless ranting about teabagging and how much he likes to be teabagged by Joy Finley’s dog and you smarty-pants Bugs with your insightful and informed analysis of local politics, why not leave some for the rest of us slugs?

    Oh, and Bugs? Fried chikcen and Waffles are the main course at one of L.A.’s most popular eateries, jus’ sayin’


  5. I am in contact with the Arcata Police Department. They are adding personnel to watch this event and cite or arrest as many of the freaks that show up for this thing as possible. They are also checking for a permit for the show. Wouldn’t that be something if there wasn’t one? Shut it down, Gags! HAHAHA

  6. This is a DA fundraiser. I guess the AG’s office will prosecute the drugies and the others arrested?

  7. Is Kai Beech one of the shorelines covered in oil?

  8. Maybe gags wikk sing along to the lyrics where “tone” sings about killing people and not feeling bad abot it. What a stupid cluster

  9. Still nothing here about Gallegos giving Sundberg a plea deal on his DUI and failure to appear after he announced his candidacy for supervisor.

  10. Tone Luc? More like the rapper geezer patrol. This dude will need some serious NSAIDs and traction after attempting the worm, but it would be worth it to watch the Gags make an ass of himself with a geriatric gangsta ustabe. Sorta of like being in the courtroom, only with a thumping bass line.

  11. Jo. He makes an ass out of himself on a daily basis. This is just a really good example of his really bad thinking process.

  12. Epic ripoff.

  13. The concert? Dope smoke, underage kids and a lazy drug dragged poor excuse for a performer. This fund raiser failed pathetically. Where was th TS?

  14. posted on Heraldo’s blog:

    Andrew, if I find out this is your blog you are fired. I’ve been looking over the Heraldo posts and many of them were done when my Eureka office is open. Not to mention that when I win I am going to have to work with Virginia or Jeff, Allison, Ryan and Johanna if they win. You putz! What are you thinking. J dub warned me about you. I hope he was wrong.

    It was posted by “Wesley”

  15. Chesbro is through if it is Bird. Bird trashing others from Chesbro’s office and getting paid for it.

  16. Funny thing happened on Heraldo. The post from Wesley disappeared. It was actually posted on the Heraldo blog in a couple different spots early this morning and they have been pulled. Nowhere in sight, unless you look at the Mirror.

  17. If you use the word Andrew, it is moderated in a blink and he replies trying to out you. If it was not Andrew, then why that reaction?

  18. #1. This person is a male who rides a bike in Eureka.

    #2. Lives in an Apartment in Eureka.

    #3. It will be pure political “poetry” when he is brought forward.

    #4. He is an insider with the Humboldt County Deomcratic Central Committee.

    5# Used to work at the Times Standard.

    Its Tad people!

    #1- Totaly fits Tad. See him all the time arouond town.
    #2 – Apartment is used loosely.. so what if it is a cardboard box.
    #3 – Who the hell knows what this means.. I still think its Tad.
    #4 – If Tad isn’t in charge of what comes out of there be very afraid.
    #5 – The word “work ” is also used very loosely as is the term “newspaper” when applied toward said organization.

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