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Sure, he’s a soulless bastard, but he has terrific taste in wall art

Posted on October 20, 2010 by The Humbug

Imagine our happiness the other day when we returned to the door of the plush offices we call Mirror HQ to find a brochure asking us to help re-elect our good friend Paul Gallegos. It was like effing Mardi Gras, only without all the Catholicism.

Paul Gallegos with another example of artistic borrowing.

The brochure itself is classic Gallegos. In it he takes credit for a lot of things he hasn’t actually done and promises to do a bunch of other things he’ll never actually do. The usual.

But our very, very, very most favoritest part was the photo on the back with him posed in front of a portrait of Abraham Lincoln. Because, really. When we think Gallegos, we think the 16th president of these United States who emnacipated the slaves and never told a lie, not even a little one like to his wife or something about, say, a certain surfing companion, ever. That’s just the kind of reputation Paul Gallegos has.

Our souls were stirred! We were having a moment. And just like that the Graphics Dept. had to come along and ruin everything.

Those experts of crap Photoshop work took one look and knew right away that the Honest Abe pic was as crap as crap can be.

Innocence lost!

But anyhoo. Little known fact: His artistic license is valid in more states than his law license. True story.

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Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: Abraham Lincoln, Carol likes him and that's all that matters, Paul Gallegos, Pinky and the Brain, the latest post on our lame blog |

« Were Larry Glass heading toward his own political Alamo, would anyone explain to him what that meant? Democracy, evidently, is meaningless »

51 Responses

  1. Anonymous, on October 20, 2010 at 8:19 am said:

    Dig the sneer on his face. Looks like he just got zinged by Jackson when they snapped this photo.

    Is that Carol Doda in the background?

  2. Huh, on October 20, 2010 at 8:33 am said:

    Carol Conners, Anonymous. She used to have a great rack.

  3. Lord of the Zings, on October 20, 2010 at 8:46 am said:

    Artistic borrowing indeed. Dude’s running out of people to plagiarize.

  4. Josephine Blowe, on October 20, 2010 at 9:05 am said:

    Wow, that breast augementation that Joan had was a bit over the top. I bet she had to go out of town for that surgery, Dr. Greene doesn’t do them that big.

  5. Anonymouser, on October 20, 2010 at 9:06 am said:

    According to Greg Conners: “Some of Paul’s detractors fear he won’t keep improving the team at the DA’s office and others fear he will keep doing the job and would like him to leave. I went for a couple of walks with the DA this summer and found him to be intelligent, forward-looking and dedicated. He’s a brain, and it’s good to have him at the courthouse.”

    Paul Gallegos is a brain. That right there tells you fuck-all you need to know about Greg Conners.

    And really. What is with that hat?

  6. Humboldt Turd Burglar, on October 20, 2010 at 9:11 am said:

    Oh, well if they went for a couple of walks. Probably got everything all straightened around. You bring those two mental giants together and solve all the world’s problems quick enough.

  7. Auntie Lame, on October 20, 2010 at 9:17 am said:

    Who was it just talking about lame blogs?

    Oh yes. That’s right.

  8. Rose, on October 20, 2010 at 9:27 am said:

    Looks like he has AMENDED his candidate questionnaire, it now reads:
    “I studied the United States Constitution in the law school, I taught the United States Constitution when I was a lecturer at Humboldt State University…”
    changed from:
    “… I taught the United States Constitution when I was a professor at Humboldt State University,…”

    screenshots

    But this was not the first time he pulled this – has he also notified the HCDCC of the falsity of his claim? And who is going to tell the VOTERS about this, and the other false claims in his ballot/candidate statement?
    Anatomy of a deception
    links here
    “…I established the Criminal Investigations Bureau, the Consumer and Environment Protection Unit, the Child Abuse and Adult Sex Crimes Unit, the Worker’s Compensation Fraud Unit, the Domestic Violence Unit and Bad Check Program….”

    RELATED:
    Remember: Paul Gallegos took office in January of 2003.
    ◼ July 30, 1995 HUMBOLDT DISTRICT ATTORNEY’S BAD CHECK PROGRAM on the Board of Supervisor’s Agenda
    The previous DA responds affirmatively to a Grand Jury Report on the status of the Bad Check Program.
    ◼ THE TROUBLE WITH LIES – documents show:
    May 17, 2002 for Meeting of June 4, 2002 Board of Supervisor’s agenda item states that at that time “THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY’S OFFICE HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ITS FIFTH YEAR OF FUNDING FOR ITS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VERTICAL PROSECUTION UNIT…”
    ◼ Political maneuvering. Read paragraph 4
    ◼ Resolution of Commendation for the District Attorney Domestic Violence Vertical Prosecution Team.
    ◼ Joyce Moser’s My Word</i<

    C’mon, John Osborn – this is one for your WHOPPERS posts – Truth-O-Meter – whatever you were gonna call it.

    The TRUTH matters.

  9. Real Dem, on October 20, 2010 at 9:32 am said:

    Not if you’re the HCDCC. Over there, ideology and hegemony are all.

  10. Huh, on October 20, 2010 at 9:57 am said:

    Paul can walk? Fucker’s got my vote.

  11. Anonymous, on October 20, 2010 at 10:10 am said:

    Not so fast, Huh. He can walk only when he’s not chewing gum.

  12. Girlie, on October 20, 2010 at 10:33 am said:

    What’s that on the banner? The creature from the Fourth District Lagoon?

  13. Graphics Dept., on October 20, 2010 at 10:46 am said:

    It’s our homage to Halloween. This particular banner is titled “Supervisor from the Black Lagoon.” Enjoy.

  14. Anonymous, on October 20, 2010 at 10:47 am said:

    You guys crack me up.

  15. er..., on October 20, 2010 at 11:00 am said:

    you might want a new graphics department. I get the joke but c’mon. TOo funny “look guys! a picture of abraham lincoln in the background! they musta gone done photo-chopped that in cuz ain’t no way Paul Fried-Eggo’s would stand in front of one, that commie pinko!”

  16. Josephine Blowe, on October 20, 2010 at 11:26 am said:

    What I really want to know is this: is the plumped up lower lip the graphics dept (drunken sods that they are!) or has Paul Baby joined Joan in worship at the alter of comestic enhancement and had some restylene injected to pucker up that trout-pout?

  17. brian, on October 20, 2010 at 12:12 pm said:

    Does P.G. still call in “sick” when he wants to go surfing?

  18. Derwood Kirby, on October 20, 2010 at 12:15 pm said:

    No, Brian, he emails in as “professor” and says he’s prepping for a class on how to create vertical sex crimes units,
    domestic violence units, and obtain grants.

    Then he signs it R Trent Salzdoucher

  19. [moderated] Anonymous, on October 20, 2010 at 1:31 pm said:

    For the rest of us not on the inside tell us what’s this surfing companion/lying to his wife business? Does this have anything to do with the underage girl who [moderated] was inappropriate with? Or [moderated] beating his wife? Or [moderated] buying off the gay community?

    Mirror, Mirror, Mirror…

    [Friend, sometimes we laugh our asses off at things that can get us sued. Then, we delete them quick-like. Sorry, and thanks for your understanding.]

  20. Greg, on October 20, 2010 at 7:18 pm said:

  21. Anonymous, on October 20, 2010 at 10:47 pm said:

    You amended your paragraph by adding “That’s just the kind of reputation Paul Gallegos has” at the end of that paragraph.

    Way to cover your ass. Keep up the entertainment.

  22. The Humbug, on October 21, 2010 at 7:27 am said:

    OMFG. We edited a blog post? To add that shattering observation? Holy Shit. This thing’s got vast right-wing conspiracy written all over it.

  23. Pat, on October 21, 2010 at 8:13 am said:

    Visited this site a few times. Im done. I think like the maturity and I.Q. levels have dropped around here from this site alone.
    All I see or read is bad photoshop and bitter 5 little kids writing.
    You make accusations and back nothing up with facts.

    In fact, if this is the level Gallegos opponents are on, I will be voting for Paul.

  24. Anonymous, on October 21, 2010 at 2:26 pm said:

    Hey Pat, pull my finger….

  25. Anonymous, on October 21, 2010 at 3:04 pm said:

    Argh thats funny!

    Hey Pat, pull Gags’ finger…I am betting it has a skunk like smell.

  26. Jen, on October 22, 2010 at 6:32 am said:

    Facts, Pat?
    How about this. Mr. Gallegos promised in 2003 that he would be vigorous in convicting trespassers on private land appealing to those who hated the aggressive tactics of Earth First and its offshoots.
    What we got was one of the most lenient justice systems in years, allowing hardened criminals to plea down to nothing and putting all that crap back on our streets.
    What we got was a man who would rather “negotiate” with the killers of a little girl on 299, the killers who were “racing”. Poor little victimized racer boys.
    What I want is a DA that’s going to go to the mattresses and convict those who break the law.
    Those are facts. If you LIVE here, Pat, then you know exactly the kind of deals he’s made.
    If you vote for him because you find his opponents juvenile, then you’re voting out of spite and not on his record.
    Too bad. What a waste.

  27. David, on October 22, 2010 at 9:26 am said:

    Still ignoring the Coastal Commission Mr. Gans?

    You’re in for a rude awakening!

  28. connect the dots, on October 22, 2010 at 3:34 pm said:

    Your on the wrong thread and wrong blog, David. Crawl back to the H dogs progressive shitheads blog.

  29. Anonymous, on October 22, 2010 at 4:42 pm said:

    WOW From The Nothcoast Journal Website Today:
    .
    Comment / By Eureka Blue / Today, 3:31 p.m.

    Along the order of: We live here why? In addition to the latest lawsuit filed this week against Larry Glass personally along with city of Eureka staff over Glasses over the top vendetta against Eureka slumlord Floyd Squires who no doubt deserves attention but it should be done legally. The Eureka Police Department is about to melt down over the Glass [alleged] phone sex with a minor cover up. There is at least one staff person is set to resign. Several more are taking it to the union. Another has been interviewed by the Grand Jury and rumor is that the DA’s office is also involved. Glass was being investigated by Eureka PD for the [alleged] sexual harassment of a Eureka High student and he and Garr Nielson managed to [allegedly] kill and bury the investgation. More effort is spent on a parking ticket than was spent protecting this minor from a [alleged] preditor. Supposedly there was also a payoff to the girls father to keep him quiet. The uproar at the department and among other city personel was that they were [allegedly] being forced to cooperate with the cover up. This is too big a deal to keep quiet forever and the details are coming out daily. After the next batch of forced “retirements” next month the whole escapade will undoubetedly unroll. If a cover up can be proven Glass and Nielson will be forced to resign and could face criminal charges. Several city employees have gone as far as to lawyer up to protect themselves because they are concerned about personal liability for what they were asked to do. Even if all the details never are totally revealed, it’s a personel matter you know, what was Eureka PD doing investigating a councilperson at all? There are specific rules about conflict of interest and this violates all of them. Eureka will be getting some national news attention of the worst kind. The whole thing totally stinks and once again the people of Eureka are the losers.

  30. Sun Valley Floral Farms Insider, on October 23, 2010 at 1:38 am said:

    You know these proggies are desperate and bored when they feel the need to come to this blog and harass the real “progressives” of Humboldt. Which is us because we want to see Eureka grow and bring jobs, unlike the others with the ironic title.

  31. The Humbug, on October 23, 2010 at 4:39 pm said:

    I think “David” is lost in more ways than one. He evidently believes another Bay Area elitist needs to tell us how to live our lives. What the fuck ever happened to local control?

    67.127.177.162 – Geo Information
    Kelton Consulting
    IP Address 67.127.177.162
    Host 67-127-177-162.keltonconsulting.net
    Location US, United States
    City Livermore, CA 94550
    Organization Chabot Las Positas Community College District
    ISP SBC Internet Services
    AS Number AS7132 AT&T Internet Services
    Latitude 37°50’38” North
    Longitude 121°52’53” West
    Distance 10415.33 km (6471.79 miles)

  32. Anonymous, on October 24, 2010 at 9:37 am said:

    Are any of the mainstream press following up on the issues raised in the Eureka Blue post above? If there are coverups and cases of EPD investigating sitting councilmen someone should be looking into it. If a tenth of the post is true this is a really big deal.

  33. Anonymous, on October 24, 2010 at 9:59 am said:

    Without the support of Glass it is unlikely Nielson would have his EPD job right now.

    The EPD is being run like a communist country under Czar Garr. Employees are being pitted against each other for the hint or promise of the possibility of promotion. And Glass runs interferance for Nielsen.

    And furthermore, it is rumored that the “retirements” of upper staff positions to save money are not going to occur.

  34. Anonymous, on October 24, 2010 at 10:19 am said:

    No press release or comments about Chief Nielsen’s suspicious injury?

    There is a story here somewhere.

  35. Anon, on October 24, 2010 at 10:52 am said:

    What exactly is the truth with the Nielson/EPD investigation of Glass? Seems like someone should be simply asking them if it happened or not. No one expects that admit to a cover up but there should be public records if there was an investigation. The whole episode could be put to bed if Nielson or Glass would simply say there was no such investigation or if there was, that it happened but after fully investigating the allegations they proved to be unfounded. End of issue.

  36. Anonymous, on October 24, 2010 at 1:31 pm said:

    What injury?

  37. Anonymous, on October 24, 2010 at 2:03 pm said:

    So where is Hank’s team of investigative reporters on the Glass – Nielson issue? I bet they’re hot on the trail. Maybe not, I forgot they only pursue stories that support their candidates. Maybe the Times andard will look into the matter, oops, not them either. I guess you can get away with anything around here if you’re progressive about it.

    I wonder how they would feel if it were their daughter.

  38. Sun Valley Floral Farms Insider, on October 24, 2010 at 8:13 pm said:

    Knowing Larry, I bet he would come up with something like Arkley approached him with a baseball bat and Larry defended himself and that’s how he got in legal trouble

  39. Anonymous, on October 24, 2010 at 8:31 pm said:

    Who gives a shite bout Larry. Gags is a lying souless POC. Why hijack a perfectly fine thread that accents the county’s biggest loser?

  40. Sun Valley Floral Farms Insider, on October 24, 2010 at 8:54 pm said:

    Because we have to utilize other means to exercise our Glass/Arkley hard-on

  41. Anonymous, on October 24, 2010 at 9:17 pm said:

    I say when Bon Bon finally gets out of office, we should throw a “Bye Bye Bon Bon” party. What do you say Humbug?

  42. Anonymous, on October 25, 2010 at 8:39 am said:

    The Mole troll Holmquist makes some good points in a completely shitty way.

  43. Cozy Powell, on October 25, 2010 at 10:12 am said:

    Re: “The Injury”. Chief Nielsen was allegedly out of town doing “dog training” when he became entangled in the dog lead. He fell and sustained some highly visible facial injuries. Anyone working on checking his story out?

  44. Anonymous, on October 25, 2010 at 11:29 am said:

    When you fall down or trip what do you do? Do you use your face to break the fall or do use a hand or an arm?

  45. chivas hits the spot, on October 25, 2010 at 1:41 pm said:

    garr gielsen fell down… virginia vass has a hangnail… paul pallegos has a headache… larry llass has the runs… keep it tuned to the Humboldt Mirror for all the news as it happens…

    cue chris holmquist/mole saying something about the “proggies”…

    i like my ham with a side of spam… eat a blimp or leave the grow house, i say…

  46. Jack Hoff, on October 25, 2010 at 10:26 pm said:

    Fuck Gags! Send him down to SB, surf him to the sharks!

  47. Mr. Nice, on October 25, 2010 at 11:04 pm said:

    Host 67-127-177-162.keltonconsulting.net

    That address don’t even go nowhere.

    When we think Gallegos, we think the 16th president of these United States who emnacipated the slaves and never told a lie,

    Damn dude that wasn’t Lincoln, that was James Monroe or John Adams or one of them other cherry tree faced dues who didn’t lie.

    not even a little one like to his wife or something about, say, a certain surfing companion, ever.

    Now see that is good shit talk but is that reason not to vote for dude? Some of the best politicians are scandalous as hell.

  48. Sun Valley Floral Farms Insider, on October 26, 2010 at 7:53 am said:

    Chivas, it would be nice if you could prove it, but its too bad that you can’t. You pulling this up again is a desperate act for a proggie to gain the political control that you need badly. Mudslinging. Face it, I called you on it. I see right through you.

  49. connect the dots, on October 26, 2010 at 8:49 am said:

    Chavis, If you turn your hand the other way you can fool yourself into thinking its someone else cause at this point your just wanking yourself and everyone knows it.

  50. whack-a-mole, on October 26, 2010 at 1:31 pm said:

    chivas, you hit a nerve with the mole/Holmquist. Seems everytime anyone associates the real name of the mole, he gets very defensive. Holmquist must be the mole!

  51. Anonymous, on October 26, 2010 at 2:01 pm said:

    http://www.arcataeye.com/2010/10/paul-hagen-gallegos-is-no-alternative-%E2%80%93-october-26-2010/

    holy shit, batman….it has hit the fan big time!

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