We told Barb Leonard to blow us, but she wrote a guest post instead. We don’t need to tell you who won that round.

A few months back, the bugs and Barb Leonard got into a tiff over our use of a particular photo of Paul Gallegos. There was sturm, there was drang, and yes–we really did tell Jeff Leonard’s mother to blow us. She took a pass on that, but we agreed to disagree, then became pen pals, and next thing you know the old gal’s writing for the Humboldt Mirror.

Pinch us!

Anyhoo. For her inaugural missive, the incomparable Barbster gives us her take on political fear-monging.

Bottom line?

She’s against it.

See for yourself:

Since the ploy to incite fear of cell tower installations is receiving more guffaws than a Jerry Seinfeld rerun, the brain trust that makes this stuff up has decided to give “emissions from Smart Meters” a whirl around the dance floor.

Sorry, I don’t buy it. I grew up in an era when DDT was a household staple. Our mothers used atomizers to spray the precious carcinogen inside our homes. The sight of flying insects hitting the deck was followed with hoots of “mission accomplished!!” Those were the good old days, when second hand smoke was the expectation and no one had ever heard of car seats or Sarah Palin.

So, when I arrived home one day last month and found a door hanger and brochure informing us PG&E had installed our new smart meters, I obviously found no cause for alarm.

After viewing recent civic meetings, where questions of mysterious health issues with Smart Meters have been raised, we decided to be more cognizant of how we are feeling… always a riveting subject when trapped into conversations with Seniors.

So far, we have not experienced constipation, headaches, dizziness, nausea, dry mouth, altered vision, diarrhea, vomiting, sleeplessness, brain malfunction, suicidal tendencies or erections lasting over four hours. I must admit if the latter was an issue, suicide could become an option, although a spirited game of ring toss might be more appealing.

You want to live in fear? Here’s another opportunity to spread misinformation and scare your neighbors shitless. On the other hand, if you believe this is just another anti-corporation ploy by the usual suspects open your windows and holler “DING…NEXT,” and we can move on to some really scary stuff like sonar invasion and dead birds.


24 Responses

  1. Would it be rude to point out she’s funnier than you are?

  2. Blow us, Dork. And no, that’s not an invitation to be a guest commentator. As you have observed, that position has been ably filled.

  3. If it wasn’t for her son, Virginia would have won last June. Neely out, Bass in. Next time, stay out of the way.

  4. “Stay out of the way?” Hey psst, Anonymous. Ever heard of democracy?

  5. Effing hysterical, Barb. You are my favorite little old lady.

  6. Girlie, I doubt he has heard of democracy, but Homecoming Queen is a concept he is very familiar with.

  7. Damn. I want a funny mother. Life is so unfair.

  8. I don’t know who this lady is, but if she didn’t exist you’d have to invent her.

    Love it!

  9. Love me some Barb anytime.

  10. There are about 13 radicals – the Dirty Dozen as I call ’em – here on the North Coast who complain, protest, file lawsuits, write crazed letters-to-editors, and stick their fingers in everything to stop any type of progress here in Humboldt County.

    And you want to know the best part?

    They call themselves “progressives”.

    Watch for Linda Atkins latest off-shoot of a whacky political group that she is now forming – the
    “Humboldt Democratic Progressives” (I kid you not).

  11. Funny, but once again Barb and I disagree!

    I’ve been on my cellphone all morning, talking with my friends – and we’re all very worried about RF transmissions.

    Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they don’t exist!

  12. Hey Jeff,

    My generation thought the A bomb on Hiroshima rocked….ya think noseeums are going to scare us?

    See you at dinner! We can discuss your paranoia, then, in front of your kids. How’s that for a threat?

  13. “I’ve been on my cellphone all morning, talking with my friends…”

    What, no job? Get back to work.

  14. Uh-oh. Family Feud. Get some!

  15. Hope you weren’t holding cell phone to your ear as they transmit more RF than the smart meters.

    Was that post re on cell phone all morning just trying to be funnier than Mom?

  16. Cell phones transmit RF?!

    Next you’ll be telling me I get RF exposure from computers, TVs, and microwaves.

  17. Sarah Palin invented SmartMeters? Or, wait, no, the garden variety paranoid psychotic in Arizona was exposed to a SmartMeter that gives off Sarah/Glen/Rush/Boehner vibrations a rare, and supposedly deadly phenomenon, which yes, they are hoping to replicate at the Large Hadron Collider.

    Yikes, now I am confusing myself with Higgs Bosun and …..and….and….Whew, a little dose of the good stuff from Barb and I am all better!

    Beats Ativan.

  18. Wait a minute! You punk-ass journalistas told my mother to BLOW you?!!!! Are you kidding me!? Barb isn’t just “somone’s mom,” she MY perennially wrong about politics and the environment mom! And, yes, funnier (and smarter) than any three of you pencil-necked geeks on your best day.

  19. Ab-so-fucking-lootly LOVE the Leonards.

  20. Ditto, Dancing. Maybe they could adopt us.

  21. Anon 11:44,
    Only if you are past puberty. Been there done that.

    Embarrassing the kids in my Golden years, however, has opened a whole new vista of parenting. I’m likin’ it.

  22. Scott, would you believe we were speaking figuratively?

    Or that we’ve learned a valuable lesson?

    Yeah. Didn’t think so.

  23. Barb…..love ya babe!

  24. “Yikes, now I am confusing myself with Higgs Bosun and …..and….and….Whew, a little dose of the good stuff from Barb and I am all better!”

    A bosun is a crew member of a sailing ship. A boson is a subatomic particle with the property of mass (as in F= MA, not as in Sunday morning with a variant of Saltines and MD 20/20).

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