Luck of the Dumbass

The Patron Saint of Wee Genitals

In celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, we are sending along our best unlucky wishes to the diminutive and wee-genitaled leprechaun Mark Lovelace in his second bid to land a seat on the California Coastal Commission.

Although we would sleep a lot easier with a Mark Wheetley appointment, the Arcata City Council voted recently to throw Councilwoman Alex Stillman’s and Third District Stupidvisor Lovelace’s names into the hat for Gov. Jerry Brown to choose from for the job.

According to the Times-Standard, Lovelace said he was interested in the seat because of his involvement in specific coastal projects that give economic advantages to some businesses over others.

”The coastline is an incredibly valuable resource,” Lovelace said. “For Bill Pierson’s Building Center.”

Humboldt County 4th District Supervisor Virginia Bass and Fortuna City Councilman Ken Zanzi’s names are also being forwarded to the Governor’s Office for consideration for the job.

Zanzi had been appointed to the commission by outgoing Gov. Schwarzenegger and attended at least one meeting until incoming Gov. Brown got all butthurt and dismissed him to make his own pick. Let’s hope Brown doesn’t douche this one up.


21 Responses

  1. Bird has commented. You know who locally is in favor of the mighty midget.

  2. So why does Mark have such a small package?

  3. The Patron Saint of Wee Genitals?– I thought that was Pete “Paykeeper” Nichols.

  4. To quote from Plain Jane’s Handbook, “kick him to the curb”. She is so stupid she doesn’t know when her chain is being pulled. Ha ha.

  5. plain Jane’s vibrators both got stuck. She has been living with this until the energizers die. She even got a 215 to cope.

  6. Pierson had the sewer plant built there to act as a seawall against tsunamis. Looks like it worked Bill

  7. Please don’t assume the appointment to this seat will come from Humboldt County.

    I posted on another blog that I am confident Gov. Brown will appoint a qualified person who shares his vision. That was not an endorsement of any one candidate. It’s no secret that Mark Lovelace is my friend; I respect him, believe he is very well-qualified and am confident he would make a fine appointment if he is the chosen one.

    However what keeps getting overlooked on the Humboldt blogs is that this seat covers two other North Coast counties: Del Norte & Mendocino. There are candidates for this seat from these two counties who I also respect and believe would make excellent appointments as well.

  8. Andrew. Go blow. Thanks you arrogant windbag for being soooo very condescending. Most of us do get politics and do get that there are more counties then HumCo involved. So sorry about your infatuation with the deluded midget. It just isn’t shared by many outside prog land. Now go blow our favorite douchebags. Yes you “friends” cheesebreath, the midget and gags the pot king plagiarizer.


  9. 12 Common Myths of St. Patrick’s Day:

     Myth: Shamrocks are associated with the holiday because St. Patrick used them as a teaching tool for the pagan Celts he converted to Christianity. The Shamrock’s 3 leaves symbolize the holy Trinity.
    Reality: Shamrocks were just the first things Patrick saw when he woke up face down in a field after a particularly bad bender.

    Myth: “Luck of the Irish” refers to the abundance of Good Fortune long enjoyed by the Irish.
    Reality: Good Fortune has included 1,000 years of invasion, colonization, exploitation, starvation and mass emigration. Then there was the “Gangs of New York” and as a final insult: those Colin Farrell sex tapes and the mere existence of Rosie O’Donnell.

     Myth: Saint Patrick’s name was Saint Patrick.
    Reality: His real name was actually Maewyn Succat. He adopted Saint Patrick as his stage name when he began touring Ireland as a magician famous for his disappearing snake trick.

    Myth: Kissing the Blarney Stone, located in County Cork, will grant you the ability to speak sweetly and persuasively.
    Reality: Imagine the bored teenagers growing up in County Cork. Now can you not imagine that the Blarney Stone being the most pissed upon tourist attraction in Europe?

     Myth: St. Patrick’s Day is a traditional holiday to celebrate great friends and great food. The customary Irish family meal is a Quarter-pounder with a large Coke and potato fries. St. Patrick: “I’m lovin’ it!”
    Reality: This Myth was sponsored by McDonalds.

    Myth: The Irish are the world’s most poetic people
    Reality: Limericks are to Poetry, as Paris Hilton is to Acting. In fact, the National Poet Laureate of Ireland has been named and it’s…that Man from Nantucket.

     Myth: St. Patrick’s Day is a lot of fun with parades and games and merriment.
    Reality: It’s not just an innocent holiday. Think about this: if you rearrange the letters of SAINT PATRICK’S DAY… it spells out SATANIC KIDS PARTY! This would explain the perverted behavior of the Catholic Church.

     Myth: When St. Patrick died on March 17, 460 A.D., his jawbone was preserved in a silver shrine and used to cure epilepsy, ease childbirth and defend against “evil eye”.
    Reality: St. Patrick’s jawbone is indeed the “Swiss Army Knife” of healing. While it may not exactly cure epilepsy, it has been shown to reduce dandruff and fight tooth decay!

     Myth: St Patrick cleansed the snakes out of Ireland by driving them into the sea.
    Reality: That story is a 100% fiction. The truth is that St. Patrick played his flute to lure all the rats out of the town and into the river.

     Myth: Many young women think St. Patrick’s Day is a time to get drunk and experiment by kissing another girl in public.
    Reality: According to St. Patrick, your actions will have you banished into a Lesbian Hell!

    NOTE: Guys who make it into Heaven are allowed to visit Lesbian Hell to watch and boy are they pissed they can’t join in.

     Myth: Green is the official color of St. Patrick’s Day because it’s the color of spring, shamrocks and fertility.
    Reality: The official color is flashing red and blue as the officer writes out your DUI.

     Myth: The Irish are constantly inebriated.
    Reality: That’s an ugly falsehood. Most are far too impoverished to purchase even the bargain whiskey they so desperately crave.

  10. Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He says, “So what’s bothering you, dear?”

    She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”

    The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?”
    She says, “That he did, Father…”

    The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?”
    She says, “He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down that damn gun…'”

  11. Anonymous @ 9:30 PM Wikipedia called and said, “you are fired”. Writing and research are not your forte. Paddy keep your day job, delivering jokes takes some talent.

  12. Anony @ 9:30, a tip of the hat to you! I thought it was superb! but you were missing the lore of the lepruchans…you know, how they love the trees, and the bogs and the coastline…how they will do ANYTHING they can to protect it from evil commerce (unless it is St. Willy’s Church of The Hammer). How the original lepruchan (Bon-Bon Doon) established the ritual of accepting tokens of good will from distant shores to ensure the continuance of the coastline. And the best part of how Bon Bon Doon passed on her sceptre of protection to the littlest lepruchan, Markel. He of the magic, dancing feet.

    I guess you forgot that part, but well done,nontheless.

  13. To you are fired: guess you’ve not heard irish jokes before. That’s as good as it gets friend.

  14. *****asshole alert******
    please go to the HH and voice your comment.

    Petition to support Lovelace for Coastal Commission
    March 19, 2011
    Supporters of the nomination of Humboldt County Supervisor Mark Lovelace to the California Coastal Commission can sign a petition that will be given to the Supervisors ahead of their March 22nd vote.

    Governor Jerry Brown will make the final decision but Supervisors will forward their nominations to Brown by April 10th.

    Petition text:

    To the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors

    Mark Lovelace is uniquely qualified to represent the North Coast Region on the Coastal Commission.

    As County Supervisor Mark has established himself as a leader on important statewide issues. He serves on the CSAC Board of Directors and co-chairs CSAC’s Coastal Counties Regional Association and the Medical Marijuana Working Group, as well as being actively involved in CSAC’s State Budget Reform Taskforce and the CSAC/RCRC Williamson Act Working Group. Mark was recently chosen to serve on the West Coast task force for developing study and monitoring protocols for offshore wind, wave and tidal energy projects.

    Prior to being elected, Mark worked for many years as an advocate on important local land use, development and environmental issues. He brings more than 10 years experience working with a long list of State and Federal agencies, and understands complex regulatory issues. He has the ability to work through mountains of documents and distill them down to their most significant points. He is objective and thorough in his research and consistently reaches well-thought-out conclusions based upon data.

    I encourage you to nominate Mark Lovelace as the North Coast Region representative to the California Coastal Commission

  15. Petition to support ___________for Coastal Commission
    March 19, 2011
    Supporters of the nomination of Humboldt County Supervisor _________to the California Coastal Commission can sign a petition that will be given to the Supervisors ahead of their March 22nd vote.

    Governor Jerry Brown will make the final decision but Supervisors will forward their nominations to Brown by April 10th.

    Petition text:

    To the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors

    __________is uniquely qualified to represent the North Coast Region on the Coastal Commission.

    As __________has established himself as a leader on important statewide issues. ______

    I encourage you to nominate ____________as the North Coast Region representative to the California Coastal Commission

  16. It is unfortunate that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. These libs flood the Sups and Govs office with these petitions and they in turn make a selection considering the vocal constituent. NOT the majority of working constituents.

  17. Rose says:
    March 19, 2011 at 10:00 am
    Is he still getting paid to support “Infill” ? This is the man who attended all those meetings pretending to be ‘just another concerned citizen’ – come to find out he was being paid to be there and to promote a particular agenda.

    He is willing to distort and lie to promote his agenda as he did during the TPZ debacle. He knows the facts and chooses to misrepresent them.

    That is NOT the kind of person you want on the Coastal Commission. He is not unbiased. He is distinctly biased and beholden, and makes his decisions based on the strings that bind him.

    It’s too bad – he has some good points – one of the few that reads his packet and groks the issues. But he cannot be trusted.

    The Coastal Commission is not supposed to be a private PAC/special interest group.

    Jerry Brown
    State Capitol Building
    Sacramento, CA 95814
    Phone: (916) 445-2841 Fax: (916) 445-4633

  18. Actually they fuck the constituents. Hey. The TS is quoting anon blog posters as “sources” for their article on the pot murders in Trinity County. That rag is terrible.

  19. Unfortunately, Roses points are true. This may in fact be in Markies favor. He will fit right in with the rest of the appointments.

    Tweetbird has already pointed the way of how our local whores will be pushing.

    Don’t let this stop you from letting the Governor know how you feel about the midget being on the Coastal Commission.

  20. To you people who are anti lovelace, contact the guy who is in charge of appointing people to the coastal commission. He is Appointments Secretary John Cruz and you can contact him through this site

  21. Riiight, Lovlace fighter, we’ll buy that bridge from ya!

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