Richard Salzman asks dumb self-promotional question about dumber self-promotional lawsuit

“If first they silence the poor and the homeless, and I say nothing, who will speak up when they try to silence me?” Uh, absolutely no one, Richard, because you're a douche.

Clif Clendenen surprise winner of ‘American Idle’

Well, it’s a surprise unless you happen to be one of his constituents. For 2nd District voters, it’s a performance they’ve come to expect.

"Thanks, Ryan. Let's see. This week I attended a fundraiser, although it was for me, and a barbecue, although I think that was at the fundraiser, and I went to a really boring meeting--wait, that was the fundraiser too. So that was my week."

New Coastal Commission chair fired for being as big a prick as the last one

Keep in mind this is Sara Wan's official portrait, which means it's a picture she wants people to see.

Coastal Commission chairpersons might have to put themselves on some kind of endangered species list.

First, Humboldt County voters remove one–former District Four Supervisor Bonnie Neely.

Now her successor, Sara Wan, loses her political appointment for double-crossing a former aide to John Burton–who just so happened to be the man who appointed her to the commission these last 16 years.


We quote:

Wan’s appointment as chair became controversial in January when former Senate President pro Tem John Burton sent her a profanity-laced letter on State Democratic Party letterhead (he is the current chair) accusing Wan of having “screwed Mary Shallenberger (a former longtime aide of Burton) out of the chair of the commission in order to gain it yourself.

(The “profanity” wasn’t all that interesting by Burton standards. One little bullshit, as in “No need to respond to this because I have no need to hear any of your rationalizing bullshit on this issue.” That barely counts.)

Importantly, Shallenberger had also been one of Wan’s staunchest defenders, a position that could easily have been a full-time job given Wan’s reputation as an obdurate, conniving, power-hungry ass.

Arnold York, publisher of Wan’s hometown daily the Malibu Times, describes Wan as follows:

Wan was never an easy appointment for a politician. She has many fans in the environmental movement, but she has also made many enemies along the way. Anyone who has ever sat at a Coastal meeting and watched Wan, as chair (she has served as chair once before), juggle the speaker slips so causes she favored came up early and the opposition usually put off to the end of the meeting, couldn’t help but come away with a feeling that they had been railroaded. Most politicians try to hide their power, but not Wan. She loves power and loves people knowing that she has power. She delights in rubbing everyone’s nose in her power and wants you to know that she’s doing it, which is one of the reasons Wan is detested by many, as, I certainly would venture, a significant portion of Malibu’s residents does.

Now who does that remind us of?

For those so inclined, see the news bit announcing word of Wan’s removal.

Photo credit: Wan family

Supervisors hope to finalize board and commission appointment process soon

Bugs basically looking forward to an eternity in hell

Wait. Who was supposed to bring the marshmallows?

Here’s a little something from the Foregone Conclusion Dept.

What with the world’s end and the messiah’s return and whatnot, it’s fair to say that the Bugs’ longterm prospects on this earth are not what anyone would call promising.

So we’re thinking–you know–embrace it! If you have to burn forever in hell, you should at least earn a few style points while you’re at it.

Which is why we’ve invited local hot chick Jennifer Savage and Ron the PBR delivery dude to join us for a millennium of crying and gnashing of teeth in the outer darkness. The Graphics Dept. correctly noted that no apocalypse would be complete without a little pestilence, so they’ve invited along a plague of giant mutant insects to more or less make this thing a party.

Anyhoo, have a good end of days! Last one into the lake of fire is a rotten egg!!

Public records requests turn up love notes Lovelace sends to himself

A pair of requests for emails sent to or from the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors has uncovered  a trove of love letters sent from Third District Supervisor Mark Lovelace–to himself.

"I love you Mark. I love you too Mark."

One said simply,

Dear Mark,

You make me happier than a dog on a meat truck.

Love always and forever,

Others were more lyrical:

Dear Mr. Lovelace,

I do so love calling you that, you who so loves that love itself is your name. Look at me, lover with love in your name…

That one bangs on for about an hour, but you get the general idea.

Some were more inspirational than romantic, such as this quick note titled “The Secret Of My Success”

Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration, and 20% being smarter than everyone else.

Others were poetic:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
It’s only two inches
We’ll have to make do.

A few made no mention of Lovelace’s passion for himself, including this simple but stately haiku:

These meetings drag on
Slower than Wendy Chaitin.
Clif is kind of cute.

Several were more complex, including a 14-line Elizabethan sonnet in traditional iambic pentameter that ended as follows:

Whether dost they in heaven or earth appear
I’ll find those effers who run the Mirror.

Lovelace’s collected works will be published by the North Coast Outpost, accompanied by glowing reviews, several columns about how gentle and soft-spoken he is when he’s a prick to his constituents, a few hugs, a couple of winks and one very satisfying reach-around.

Coastal Commission appointment leaves Lovelace time to pursue his passion for haute couture

Tres sexy, tres hip, tres Lovelace: Because smarminess is always in style.

From the Governor’s Office:

Governor Edmund G. Brown, Jr. today announced the following appointment.

Martha McClure, 58, of Crescent City, has been appointed to the California Coastal Commission. McClure has served as a Del Norte County Supervisor since 1996 and as a teacher in charge for the Del Norte Unified School District since 1984. McClure recently initiated discussions between commercial and sport fishermen, tribes and local environmentalists that produced a unified agreement on marine life protected areas off the Del Norte coast.  This collaborative model was adopted by Humboldt and Mendocino counties.

McClure will serve in the north coast slot on the commission representing the counties of Humboldt, Mendocino and Del Norte.  The appointee must be selected from a list of locally elected officials.  A Del Norte County representative has never served in this slot.

This position does not require Senate confirmation and the compensation is $100 per diem. McClure is a Democrat.