What would Kaitlin do?

Yeah. We added Sheen. Sorry Charlie, but you won't be recognized for your greatness until long after your death.

Kevin Hoover’s Arcata Eye usually boasts an eclectic array of letters to the editor, and the current issue is no exception. The collection starts off with letters from someone who doesn’t like full page ads, someone else who doesn’t like capitalism, several someones who will lose their will to live if an elderberry tree is pruned, and some deeply felt but poorly executed rant from Jeffrey Schwartz, whose burgeoning career seems to allow a suspiciously huge amount of time for letter-writing.

But our favorites were toward the end, including this inspirational missive from Maureen Kane.

May I ask you who your heroes are?

My heroes tend to be those persons who have been willing to speak truth to the ruling elite.Many of whom have been imprisoned and/or assassinated for doing so.

Such as: Socrates, Jesus, Shakespeare, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Thoreau, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Howard Zinn, Vandana Shiva, Noam Chomsky, Amy Goodman, etc….

Do you think any of us would be here now- or even want to be-without the intelligently courageous souls who have persisted in speaking out in promoting truth and justice for all?!?

Two of these souls are living right here within our community. They are Kaitlin Sopoci-Belknap and David Cobb, co-creators of Democracy Unlimited of Humboldt County.

Socrates, Jesus, Mahatma, and Kaitlin. Don’t look now, but we have goosebumps!! Readers who enjoy the taste of their own vomit can find the rest of the missive at the Arcata Eye.

Another letter, titled “Humboldt Baybasher,” is included here in its entirety.

So I was walking home today from Farmers’ Market and as I walked past the Arcata Community Center I saw a frightful thing! Beer cans, plastic cups, root beer cans (really), cigarette butts as far as the eye could see and all other sorts of revelry-induced garbage ALL OVER THE GROUND. In the bushes, in the street, on the sidewalk… everywhere.

I stopped to consider what might have caused such a mess so close to a public playground and the Community Center of all places and then I remembered: The Baykeeper’s Earth Day Bash was last night!

According to their mission statement, “Humboldt Baykeeper was launched in October, 2004 to safeguard our coastal resources for the health, enjoyment and economic strength of the Humboldt Bay community through education, scientific research and enforcement of laws to fight pollution.”

“Be a part of what they say is their ‘first Earth Day Bash,’ and watch Bernhard and his band do wrong right for the right reasons on Earth Day 2011.”

My neighborhood feels pretty polluted right now, and the gutters at the Community Center drain right in to the bay/creek, correct? I’m really jazzed that the Baykeeper charged people between $25 and $40 to come out and (literally) trash the areas surrounding the Community Center.

*sigh*

Beth Mason
Arcata

No doubt Kaitlin and David took a few minutes away from creating the philosophical underpinnings of western civilization to clean that shit up. That’s the stuff heroes are made of.

Accomplishments Mark Lovelace forgot to mention

Speaker to Lovelace: "Don’t act like a hurt little girl with me." Oh. Well. Maybe next time.

For those of you who missed Jonathan Speaker’s laugh-out-loud email smack-down of Third District Supervisor Mark Lovelace, treat yourself to a look at it here.

In it, Lovelace explains why he’s the best supervisor on the board, possibly the best ever, including in the future, and announces how he’s solved all of the county’s problems which, we might note, purely as an aside, remain largely unsolved.

In the spirit of helpfulness for which we Bugs are widely known, we thought we’d give the little guy a hand rounding out his list of accomplishments.

I know I know. You’re welcome!

More accomplishments Lovelace can take credit for:

  • Spent a shit-ton of public money on self-promotional travel
  • Was stupid enough to brag about it
  • Solved the airport problems that aren’t solved
  • Increased revenues that haven’t increased
  • Fixed permitting problems that aren’t fixed
  • Prioritized redundant self-congratulation over non-redundant broadband
  • Helped remove the Klamath dams by opposing their removal
  • Talked about himself in the third person and then didn’t know what that meant
  • Bragged about saying “I” more than 30 times in an email to a constituent
  • Put Humpty Dumpty together again
  • Gave generously of his height to pygmies
  • Spanked John Woolley in a legendary beer-pong showdown
  • Showed Obama how to get his jumper back online
  • Led a horse to water and made the fucker drink
  • Coined the phrase “Bros before hos”
  • Invented Al Gore’s invention of the Internet
  • Died for our sins
  • Grew that stupid beard so he could donate the hair to chemotherapy patients.

Have we left anything out?

Bugs Bio Makes New York Times Bestseller List!!!!

Imagine our surprise when we opened up the North Coast Journal and discovered that Eureka author and gardening guru Amy Stewart had penned a new book about yours truly

Seriously? We were so flattergasted we almost fainted. The Boston Globe calls her a “A passionate and inquisitive writer.”

We just call her “Hot.

Make that “Wicked Hot.

LOL CADS

Ohhhhh....Gov. Brown, pick me, pick me.