Scientists to drive whales back to sea by reading them text of Linda Atkins’ most recent ‘My Word’

We knew whales could sing. But who would have thought they can scream?


Did you know that Eureka City Councilmember Linda Atkins was a complete ass over Nielsen’s sacking because she’s Thomas Fucking Jefferson? Neither did we.

But look. There it is.

Throughout the history of our country, dissent has been important to bringing change to our government. Without dissent and protest, we would still be English citizens, people would still own other people as slaves, women would not have the vote and you would have no idea how completely full of shit I am.

True, we made that last part up.

But a sidenote, if we may: Yes, Linda, dissent is patriotic.  As is peace. So do the city a favor and shut the fuck up.

23 Responses

  1. It’s like some kind of contest between Atkins and Sue Brandenburg to see who can be the biggest twit. Neck and neck at this point, I’d say.

  2. I can just see Linda dancing around the liberty tree with the rest of our founding fathers. Not a pretty sight.

  3. Holy shit that might be the funniest headline ever. Thank god there are people as stupid as Linda. Without them, what would we have to piss ourselves about?

  4. Yes, Girlie. Linda would be the one who looks awful in tights.

  5. I don’t know what you guys are harshing on her for. This is by far the best 4th-grade theme paper I’ve ever read.

  6. As the Bugs like to say, Awesome!

  7. That is absolutely inhumane, cruel and unusual. How dare they subject that poor whale to Linda’s delusional rants? We’d rather see it harpooned for “scientific research” purposes by the Japanese.

    The Sea Shephard’s crew is heading that way from Antarctica as you read this.

  8. Dissent is fine. Linda, however, is a horses ass which is a subject that I am quite familiar with. The idea that her tantrum is even close to enlightened democratic “dissent” is laughable at best. It’s a tantrum, plain and simple and she is now about as politically relevant as a turnip. I am waiting for George, Ben, Thomas and John to weigh in on this pile of horse poop, but really Linda, if your going to pass gas, do so quietly at home and not in public.

  9. I took this video of Atkins reacting to the Councils approval of the Nielsen firing. It isn’t pretty.

    Atkins’ reactions when she doesn’t get what she wants is a lot like King George III’s. Remember, he spent a good portion of the Revolutionary war either in a straight jacket or chained to a chair. He was nuts and so is Linda.

  10. Yeah Georgie? Well here’s a video of a Linda “response” when she doesn’t get her chicken mcnuggets. Man, don’t deny that woman a meal she can get nasty.

    And it doesn’t end there. You don’t even wanna see the one where she didn’t get her petition signed by a normal person when she was pimping for signatures on the street corner.

  11. I know a little something about writing for newspapers and speaking in the public forum. My close personal friend Thomas Jefferson most graciously referred to my Federalists Papers as “the best commentary on the principles of government, which ever was written.”

    So I hope that Ms. Atkins, as a democratically elected representative of the people, can muster up the intestinal fortitude to retrieve her ballooning head from betwixt her buttocks.

  12. What would you suggest James the citizenry do to protect itself from the tyranny of Atkins?

  13. Throughout the history of our country, stupidity has been important in bringing change to our government. With stupidity and tantrums, we are progs, we still own other people as slaves to dogma, women have the right to vote but only as their superiors and superdelegates tell them to. Huh Linda? Where is the swaztika babe?

  14. If Atkins uses my name she is as big of a shit-bag as that idiot/phlem Gallegos.

  15. Linda dissent? Really? Your drivel seems more like whining to me. Guess you never read the book “How to win friends and influence people”.

    You forget about my support of the Alien and Sedition Act. Guess American history wasn’t your strong point.

  16. No lack of hubris from Ms. Atkins in referreing to her prolonged snit-fit in the same context as the American Revolution, however, the more appropriate comparison for her and Dear Sue might be found in literature. You know, the works of Cervantes, something about windmills, and the protagonist is completely daffy.

    The persistant of this woman in pursing a lost, dead, buried and probably rotting corpse of an issue is astounding, what if all this energy was actually directed at her job as a City Councilperson?

  17. why you ask is Atkins irrelevant and unwanted.

    1) because she makes about as much sense as this:

    2) She is overdramatic like this:

    And finally, because the council and public want to stop the really bad ambient noise she makes during meetings like this:

  18. Ambient noise? Don’t you mean ambient smell SP?

    Those videos are great!

  19. “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”.

    Keep it up Atkins – blither on and on and as much as possible. Its just plain funny.

  20. Judy Hodgson’s Mysore column was unfortunate. Is she and the Journal officially in the shit house Humbug.

  21. Excuse me, my word column

  22. Why would Hodgson be in the shit house, Jan? Was that about anything other than Judy’s famously fragile ego? Beyond that it didn’t seem to have a point.

  23. Exactly my call on that rant too. Nobody is reading Judy’s rag so she sends THIS to the sub-standard? What’s even more laughable is that the TS didn’t tell her to run it in her own paper. Here’s a flash for Judy; she lost this when the 8 all joined in on that letter and made it even worse by responding. She should stick to her dope growing ads which is pretty much what her rag stands for now.

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