Bugs outsource Blog to way funnier person

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What happened to our Internets?

What, are we Amish? No 3G, no wi-fi, no network, no cell phone, no home phone, no Netflix, no texting, no porn, no gaming, no blogging. The way some younger members of the Bug household were banging on you’d think we were having to churn our own butter. Lost Coast Outpost reports our rascally non-redundant fiber optic cable was burned in a fire in Willits. Anyone hear anything different?

Flashback Friday!!

Back by popular demand–it’s Flashback Friday! Yippee!!

Here’s one of our faves from back in the day.

Remember, Flashback Friday: Because we suck twice as hard the second time around.

Hugs!!

St. Joe’s CEO injures self in Mexico to avoid treatment at St. Joe’s

February 11, 2008 by The Humbug

St. Joseph Hospital Chief Executive Joe Mark confirmed Monday that he decided to fracture his skull in Mexico, instead of Eureka, because of what he called the “superior quality of health care” available in developing countries.

Mark and his wife, Peggy, both suffered moderate injuries Sunday in a zip-line accident in Puerto Vallarta.

Reached Monday afternoon by phone, Mark told the Humboldt Mirror that he was feeling “as well as could be expected,” in light of the fact that his follow-up care would likely take place at the crap hospital he runs.

“It’s not for nothing that Peg and I travel so much,” he said. “In years past we’ve gone to Egypt to tour the pyramids and get bitten by poisonous snakes, to Kenya for a devastating safari-Jeep rollover, and even to Chechnya for an emergency appendectomy.”

The Marks were expected to return to the U.S. Monday night, after the bulk of their medical treatment had been completed.

BREAKING: Lovelace, Girard do their jobs

This headline comes straight from the Will Wonders Never Cease Department:

Lovelace, county help Cypress Grove find new dairy site

That the headline isn’t exactly true diminishes our amazement but little. According to the Times-Standard article, District 3 Supervisor Mark Lovelace and Community Disservices Development Director Kirk Girard are helping Cypress Grove look for a new dairy site. Hopefully their uncharacteristic public support of business will persist all the way through to the finding stage of this endeavor. Fingers crossed!

Also from the Times-Standard is a story yesterday about beginning the search for a new EPD chief. Curiously, even inexplicably, our favorite local daily chose to illustrate the article with a photo of former EPD chief Garr Nielsen.

What, exactly, might that be about? Were they trying to depict the last person on earth who might get hired for the job? Or does someone need to break out the Andrea Bocelli cassettes and tell poor, sad Mr. Greenson over there that it is, in fact, time to say goodbye?

Tan triste, amigos!!

Scientists to drive whales back to sea by reading them text of Linda Atkins’ most recent ‘My Word’

We knew whales could sing. But who would have thought they can scream?

 

Did you know that Eureka City Councilmember Linda Atkins was a complete ass over Nielsen’s sacking because she’s Thomas Fucking Jefferson? Neither did we.

But look. There it is.

Throughout the history of our country, dissent has been important to bringing change to our government. Without dissent and protest, we would still be English citizens, people would still own other people as slaves, women would not have the vote and you would have no idea how completely full of shit I am.

True, we made that last part up.

But a sidenote, if we may: Yes, Linda, dissent is patriotic.  As is peace. So do the city a favor and shut the fuck up.