U.S. CELLULAR 707-502-2760

Buy now, and get one of these for free.

Does that phone number look familiar? It appears on the Bug residence’s caller ID six or eight times a week, never with any message. But it’s a cell phone number, right? It must be someone we know!

Not so fast, friends. In fact it is a Times-Standard telemarketer, offering us a subscription we’ve said 50 times we have no fucking interest in, ever, and by the way, douchepickles, our number is on the Do Not Call registry, which means, in case this is in any way unclear, that you Do Not Call it.

I love when the Times-Standard showcases its community spirit, which seems to be all the time these days. Is there anything they do anymore that isn’t at least a little bit shitty?

27 Responses

  1. Atleast the E-R was free

  2. I subscribed to the TS once via a telemarketer. I later looked at the newspaper’s website and saw I paid more than if I had simply called up the newspaper.

  3. T-S must be training telemarketers the school of thought that persistance pays-off. At this point, reorganizing the whole business model of the T-S is in order….like doing away with the paper 5 days a week, offering only Sat and Sun. Why? Blogs and smaller community papers.

    Simply, regurgitated, non-Humboldt news does nothing for many of T-S’s subscribers and former client accounts.

    In High School and Junior High, students “mocked” the T-S for many things stupid and inferior.

    Times change, as well as sub-standard information outlets.


  4. Too funny. Thanks bugs.

    I for one would like to see a local paper tell both sides of every story in every piece they publish rather than what they do – call someone on the side of the stroy they agree with and report that as earth shattering news. NOT. It would cost them too much to hire and keep a real live investigative reporter – because it takes time to do it well and honest hard work.

    The good ones they have had over the years have all moved on to other places – tired of fighting the daily crap over what the stroy IS versus what they are told by their bosses to reflect in their story.

    Dignity, self-respect and honesty are priceless. None of which the Times-Standard has.

  5. Oops; “stroy”? OMG …S-T-O-R-Y

  6. I wonder how many people will be calling that number now just out of curiosity?

  7. I heard they are running a Monday only special. For only $29.99 a year they won’t deliver a crappy paper to your door. Seems worth it to me.

  8. Yeah, like 867-5309. Remember that?

  9. you’re showing your age Girlie

  10. Crap! I just read a comment from HOJ before I realized it. That’s thirty seconds of my life I can never get back.

  11. Well, I am sure the T-S is low-balling the delivery people too as it appears those paper boxes are being ignored while the delivery person hurls out the window onto the ground the paper, nice and wet; but hey, plastic bags are good for the environment and cost hardly a penny to produce.

    Cuttin’ corners and remaking the sales pitch is too easy for consumers to cope with when the customers care not how much money they waste on waste.

    Anyone want to open-up a fish and chips restaraunt……the T-S may want to invest as the supplier for the paper liners that hold such tasty morsals of fish and chips….and heck, maybe a good article is there for reading to boot. Of course, the catsup stains may cover over the fine print.


  12. At least we don’t have that evil old Eureka Reporter around anymore!!!!! There is always the North Coast Journal with those great stories ( I just can’t call them articles) by Ryan Humboldt Herald Burns…….

  13. You guys are funnier than all hell.

    Actually the ts telemarketers are the only ones I do answer. Then the whole family sits back to listen to me tell them how pathetic they are.

  14. That has to be the longest middle finger I’ve ever seen.

  15. Ah come on Bugs. Lay off the poor ole Sub Standard. Your going to miss them when they are gone.

  16. Making fun of the TS is like teasing the kids who have to ride the little bus to school. You should be ashamed!

  17. In order for the Times-Standard to become profitable once again, and for all the other papers here to thrive – there has to be a cosmic shift in the mindset of the reporters themselves.

    They have been celebrating the destruction of business and industry – ad POT – for so many years now, and the loss of business and industry is killing them.

    Look how few ads there are. It takes ads to pay for reporters, and presses, and offices.

    It takes a thriving – and competitive – business community to afford ads.

    And while POT suppliers – hydroponics and dope lawyers – may have held back the tide, you’re one election away from complete shutdown.

    Mark Lovelace – despite his new role as respectable Supervisor – is responsible for part of the area’s decline. Make no mistake. His history with “Humboldt Watershed Council” and the pursuit of Palco should not be forgotten. His being paid by agenda driven grantors to squeeze and shut down property rights should not be forgotten either. He is part of the mindset that brings a state like California to its knees, and brings you headlines about budget cuts and job losses.

    These are the things that contribute to the decline – and ultimately, all the good things you have come to expect, like a daily paper, will be gone.

    “Progressive” is regressive. That’s all there is to it.

  18. Oh, sigh. I’m in moderation again. No cusswords, either….

  19. Good points Rose,

    but when given the opportunity to ACCURATELY REPORT, often enough, the final print reads of inaccuracies….aside from all things related to marijuana. Further, even if T-S could get more ad revenue, it does not mean its readership increases in a ratio it may once have had. Today, more readers read less paper print, more digital print. Calling digital media the newspaper is innaccurate. Newspapers are DYING, leaving only the biggest and baddest left for dead.

    Locally, take for example the recent decision the county took with regard to the 1+ mile or thereabout stretch of levee off of Jacobs Avenue….the paper reports that property owners will be required to attain flood insurance (first article); following day (follow-up article) same information, re-elaboration….except for flood insurance part(T-S staff read blogs too for correction purposes, hint)…..nowhere has any project concerning a private levee to the best of my knowledge required mandatory flood insurance unless contract/signatory driven – meaning, elaborate more of the details so false information is avoided.

    There is more to that story too for another moment in time more suitable.

  20. Maybe,

    the Times Standard can hook-up with FoxConn to hire reporters for less money; afterall, outsourcing of the news to another part of the globe probably won’t affect the information’s lack of accuracy in the report. Then again, at least Times standard is not currently a sweatshop employer….based upon American standards.

    Must be roug for the American Union Worker to buy sweatshop related products like I-phones and such…..oh the irony of it all where an individual is so blinded by their greeds in life, not knowing how greeds come full circle upon personal employment opportunities.

    Supressing accuarate news (facts, truth) is its own greed for someone or some people for some reason or many reasons.

    T-S is just experiencing karma at this juncture and anyone who aligns with that outfit will fail.


  21. We seem to have contracted a persistent and virulent case of the HOJs. Doctor, please advise. What are we to do?

  22. DON”T SCRATCH or you’ll just spread the disease. These little buggers are like lice crossbred with a bad case of the clap. Unfortunately there’s not an antibiotic that can cure it and amputation is a bit severe. Drink 2 PBRs followed by a shot of your favorite medicinal and repeat as necessary until the HOJs become slightly less irritating than wiping your ass with a cheese grater. It may take awhile, but eventually the parasite will look for a new host.

  23. Doc-turd,

    your too kind and generous…more like a fricken plague, eh? Too funny and very humorous, thanks for your attention to detail.


  24. It’s hard to dislike you when you are so awesome.!

  25. Holy bedstains Batman, that $1.99 mailorder MD turned out to be a great deal. I took 2 shots and now I’m immunized to the HOJs. His latest posting seemed much shorter and far more bearable than usual. I’ve found the cure!

  26. Ok then,

    who changed my wet sheets?


    Anonymous, don’t count your chickens until all the eggs have a chance to hatch. Then,shift the incubator over to the rotten eggs for a stench that only the Hench can deliver.

    This is fun stuff, ain’t it. Ya see, I can cut myself down as good or better than most…..I like it that way.


  27. Annoying calls 
    Fact 1 – The DNC list CLEARLY does not work, everyone should knows this by know!
    Fact 2 – Filing a complaint with the FCC does not work, a total waste of time; done that.
    Fact 3 – Having an unlisted phone will not help you.
    Fact 4 – Asking/begging telemarketers to take you off their call list does not work!
    Fact 5 – No “class action” suits are filed and certainly, this is not a remedy. Many of these telemarketers are in other countries and out of the jurisdiction of the USA.
    Fact 6 –Complaining to the BBB is a corrupt organization that sells their ratings to the highest bidder.
    QUIT BEING FRUSTRATED over Telemarketers-Scammers & Bill Collectors HOUNDING day after day!
    ******DON’T GET MAD – HIT BACK!***********************
    Uniden and Panasonic make CALL BLOCKING telephones. They’re cheap – $40-$60 and they usually come with a 2nd wireless handset, and they work beautifully! These phones also block “PRIVATE”, “OUT OF AREA” and “UNKNOWN” calls!!!
    **Some phone companies offer a *60 call block feature.

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