Times-Standard non-story becomes Humboldt Mirror non-post

Wherever he films it, let's hope it doesn't suck.

BREAKING NEWS: According to the Times-Standard, M. Night Shyamalan may or may not film part of his next movie in Humboldt County. Despite a notable absence of fact, T-S stalwart Thad Greenson burned through a thousand words trying to make it sound like news anyway.

Those vast empty spaces between discounted ads don’t seem to be filling themselves. It’s beginning to look like the Times-Standard’s six-day publication schedule may still be a day or two too many.

Photo credit: cracked.com

18 Responses

  1. Hilarious. Greenson is going the way of the fat guys. I guess he’s too lazy to go out and find the news so he sits on his ass and just makes it up. I guess we should all thank god it’s not another of his 2 or 3 part series.

  2. But where is the marijuana connection? All of the time standard stories have to have a marijuana connection. no marijuana means total writers block.

  3. Did you catch the story on Saturday? Serbia, which is currently experiencing severe weather, was the headline for a story about Syria, which is currently ramping up it’s civil war.Now, I do realize that Serbia and Syria, both start with “S”, but come on!!!

    Ice and bullets! Where are the simularities? I know, I know, I am just being bitchy, dogmatic and pedantic……

    The real story on the movie, who is hooking the crew up with Humboldt homegrown and does Greesson get a piece of the action?

  4. Thad really misses the days of the Gundersen trial. There just isn’t that much news these days. But he never gives up trying to tease a mountain out of a molehill.

  5. You can’t fix stupid. I gave up reading the ts long ago.

  6. There are plenty of stories in Humboldt County but then Thad would have to get his ass out of the office and actually go out and do something.

    Not gonna happen. Before long the T/S will be a weekly paper..

  7. Hi. I’m a ‘new viewer’. I’ve lived in ‘this place’ for about 8 years now. My only confusion at this point is whether or not anything that happens or ‘doesn’t happen’ in ‘this place’ in truth merits any form of ‘reaction’. Don’t get me wrong — I admire your effort. I suppose if you actually live in E it is best to have some attitude as opposed to the absence thereof. Personally, I can’t see that politics and/or ‘culture’ in E bears any more attention than might, for instance, a pack of rodents consuming a carcass. Perhaps I’m missing something? It seems to me that this motif could well be applied to pretty much everything that comprises E, as it were. I guess the fact that I’m commenting on behalf of the notion of ‘no-commentism’ might be rash. I’ll attend to it immediately with some lotion or other, just as Napoleon was obliged to do when the clap got the better of him. But I guess that’s another story entirely. Best regards from Freshwater [our house water is deep gray, for what that is worth…]

  8. I have absolutely no idea what you just said, but I enjoyed the hell out of the way you said it. Hugs!

  9. That gives us a great idea. Thanks macgruber!

  10. Now that was interesting fleishgruber. I’ll get to the gray water in a moment.

    I have to admit to grubing my share of fleish on occasion but as to all of the lovelys it is my fate to fall in love with each and every one of them.

    You can be gentle with yourself now, many comment passionately on the notion of non-commentism here and elseblog. It is widespread and a common malady.

    It’s not a character defect……..just a literary defection. A play without words. A stage without actors Just a simple tale of space, scenery and critics.

    But don’t let it chafe my dear Fleish. There are many similies before we sleep and many…..but of course you get it.

    As to the mad rash act, I’d suggest a poltice of comfrey, willow bark cambium and an infusion of freshwater Legerdemain. Eschew the sap wood, it is far too acidic.

    Groucho Marx got it…” bore a hole in your ankle and let the sap run out.”

    Other than that, your verb tense and line tension are not without merit. I appreciate the boldness of exhausting your gerunds.

    Dang dude…you sound like me.

    As to the gray water, it’s everywhere. I’d stick to beer if I were you.

  11. Nicely done Dog. On a similar note, is there anyone else ‘out there’ wondering what ‘would happen’ if Henchman and fleishgruber got together in the same room. Or dare I say, the ‘same’ blog comments?

  12. Now you have made me puke all over the key board. OMFG! HOJ can’t grasp the concept/s of tense or composition. Not enough love,too much love from his parents/ not enough drugs,too much drugs? Who the “F” cares. HOJ could only be compared to the likes of Kim Starr or that idiot up in Mac town David E. sorry fleishgrubber, I’m sure there was no real insult intended towards you from S o G’w. Keep slinging those letters on page.

  13. Vote for jeffy Lytle next election if you want to hear more from HOJ,since they are the same.
    He just quit signing his christian name with his superhero name
    Another “Mack town ” moron

  14. When did Village Idiot become an elected position?

  15. Hey, Mac town folks are just trying to keep up with Arcata’s terror of tiny town on the board of sups. Talk about a village idiot!

  16. The little Leprechaun has gone past the point of village idiot; his title is County Stuporvisor with hopes of one day making it to the state level as a Coastal Duhmissioner.

  17. Did you catch the paper today? Patty Berg bitch-slaps Syliva De Rooy…ladies, ladies, ladies, please, lets us be civil.

    so, this is what I propose as a possible solution to this ‘fraught with danger and high feelings’ situation:
    Pessaries @ 10 paces, you must take the tennis balls off of the back wheels of your walker, and no supplemental items (poise pads, hearing aids or laxatives!)

    I am sure the Magic Midget can take time out of his busy, busy day to serve as the referee of this death match!

  18. The Magic Midget just creamed himself thinking of getting in the middle of that action.

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