U.S. CELLULAR 707-502-2760

Buy now, and get one of these for free.

Does that phone number look familiar? It appears on the Bug residence’s caller ID six or eight times a week, never with any message. But it’s a cell phone number, right? It must be someone we know!

Not so fast, friends. In fact it is a Times-Standard telemarketer, offering us a subscription we’ve said 50 times we have no fucking interest in, ever, and by the way, douchepickles, our number is on the Do Not Call registry, which means, in case this is in any way unclear, that you Do Not Call it.

I love when the Times-Standard showcases its community spirit, which seems to be all the time these days. Is there anything they do anymore that isn’t at least a little bit shitty?