Here you go, friend. Feel better?

Merry Christmas, lonely friend.

The three people in Humboldt County who slogged through to page 49 of the most recent North Coast Journal may have noticed a seven-o-heaven cartoon there which features Andrew Goff going on yet again about how edgy and cool Heraldo is and how we Mirror dumbfucks are on the Arkley payroll.

Such artistry and originality! It’s amazing we didn’t fly clean out of our pants dashing off a response to that.

In reality, it was so obviously engineered to get us to pay attention to him, we weren’t altogether certain whether it was a comic strip or a cry for help. That issue was significantly clarified with the e-mail Andrew subsequently sent to us trying to drum up a response, the comment he posted on the blog with a link to the cartoon, and at last count his four anonymous comments asking if Rob Arkley owned the Humboldt Mirror. Still, no one seems to have noticed.

So Andrew, friend, listen. You’re better at self-promotion than anything else you seem to be doing, and you’re not really very good at that. If you want engagement, be engaging. Because honestly, right now you’re around one imaginary friend away from acting like a lonely 6-year-old.

Oh and P.S., since your comic was so dumb, we fixed it up for you a bit. That’s okay–no need to thank us! With all those Arkley bucks we have coming out our asses, we can afford to hire actual talent.