What would Kaitlin do?

Yeah. We added Sheen. Sorry Charlie, but you won't be recognized for your greatness until long after your death.

Kevin Hoover’s Arcata Eye usually boasts an eclectic array of letters to the editor, and the current issue is no exception. The collection starts off with letters from someone who doesn’t like full page ads, someone else who doesn’t like capitalism, several someones who will lose their will to live if an elderberry tree is pruned, and some deeply felt but poorly executed rant from Jeffrey Schwartz, whose burgeoning career seems to allow a suspiciously huge amount of time for letter-writing.

But our favorites were toward the end, including this inspirational missive from Maureen Kane.

May I ask you who your heroes are?

My heroes tend to be those persons who have been willing to speak truth to the ruling elite.Many of whom have been imprisoned and/or assassinated for doing so.

Such as: Socrates, Jesus, Shakespeare, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Thoreau, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Howard Zinn, Vandana Shiva, Noam Chomsky, Amy Goodman, etc….

Do you think any of us would be here now- or even want to be-without the intelligently courageous souls who have persisted in speaking out in promoting truth and justice for all?!?

Two of these souls are living right here within our community. They are Kaitlin Sopoci-Belknap and David Cobb, co-creators of Democracy Unlimited of Humboldt County.

Socrates, Jesus, Mahatma, and Kaitlin. Don’t look now, but we have goosebumps!! Readers who enjoy the taste of their own vomit can find the rest of the missive at the Arcata Eye.

Another letter, titled “Humboldt Baybasher,” is included here in its entirety.

So I was walking home today from Farmers’ Market and as I walked past the Arcata Community Center I saw a frightful thing! Beer cans, plastic cups, root beer cans (really), cigarette butts as far as the eye could see and all other sorts of revelry-induced garbage ALL OVER THE GROUND. In the bushes, in the street, on the sidewalk… everywhere.

I stopped to consider what might have caused such a mess so close to a public playground and the Community Center of all places and then I remembered: The Baykeeper’s Earth Day Bash was last night!

According to their mission statement, “Humboldt Baykeeper was launched in October, 2004 to safeguard our coastal resources for the health, enjoyment and economic strength of the Humboldt Bay community through education, scientific research and enforcement of laws to fight pollution.”

“Be a part of what they say is their ‘first Earth Day Bash,’ and watch Bernhard and his band do wrong right for the right reasons on Earth Day 2011.”

My neighborhood feels pretty polluted right now, and the gutters at the Community Center drain right in to the bay/creek, correct? I’m really jazzed that the Baykeeper charged people between $25 and $40 to come out and (literally) trash the areas surrounding the Community Center.

*sigh*

Beth Mason
Arcata

No doubt Kaitlin and David took a few minutes away from creating the philosophical underpinnings of western civilization to clean that shit up. That’s the stuff heroes are made of.

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Arcata Eye way funnier than Humboldt Mirror

Photo and story by Kevin Hoover

Gallegos Vows To Complete Subway Take-Out Order ‘Soon’

EUREKA, APRIL 1 – A tense standoff between Humboldt County District Attorney Paul Gallegos and a fast food menu entered its 11th day Monday, as the D.A. pondered a range of meat, topping and bun sandwich options that appeared to overwhelm the county’s lead prosecutor.

“Um… let’s see,” Gallegos said to an increasingly impatient Subway employee while attempting to complete a sandwich order. “Let’s do lettuce, tomatoes and, uh… peperoncinis – no, actually, I take that back, because I just remembered that I don’t really like spicy food,” the D.A. said, before regrouping to give it another go.

“Gimme a minute here,” he said, his eyes slowly drifting over to a stainless steel tray of red onions, then over to a condiment tray, then back to the onions, his brow furrowed in deep thought.

“Let’s start over at the beginning, sir,” a Subway clerk advised, motioning to several small loaves of bread arranged on an oven rack. “Would you like a foot-long or six-inch?”

Gallegos then looked in the direction of the oven rack for several minutes without speaking.
One customer characterized his expression as “a blank, thousand-yard stare.”

Lawn chairs, sleeping bags and pickup games of checkers occupied the 50-or-so customers waiting in line outside the Subway and – although nerves were increasingly frayed – patrons made the best of it, in a scene reminiscent of a Harry Potter film release.

Gallegos’ sandwich odyssey struck a familiar note to those accustomed to the D.A.’s poor – or some would even charge, nonexistent – decision-making abilities.

As lead prosecutor, Gallegos’ internal compass has at times displayed all the consistency of a Magic 8 Ball: One minute, offering soft plea deals to violent repeat criminals; the next, engaging in quixotic – and ultimately, failed – attempts at prosecuting elected officials and chiefs of police.

Back inside Subway, Gallegos expressed renewed determination to conquer the sandwich menu:  “I will select my chosen condiments and toppings without fear or favor,” he said in his trademark, meandering gravel-voice – but appeared no closer to narrowing down which vegetables to choose.

Putting a cell phone up to his ear, Gallegos was then overheard to say: “Listen, Richard, I need your help making a decision. No, not on that felony plea-bargain thing… and no, this has nothing to do with the investigation into Allison. Richard, can you remember whether I like dijonnaise?”

Read more here.

Boy oh Boyd!

If any of my fellow moderate democrats wonders why the left in Humboldt County appears so clueless and out of touch, let’s consider for a moment the leadership of the Humboldt County Democratic Central Committee.

HCDCC Chair Milt Boyd also chairs the board of the Arcata Community Recycling Center, which recently lost a large municipal contract–and 60 percent of its business–when it was emphatically outbid by Willits-based Renewable Waste Systems.

As the Arcata Eye reported,

To the [Humboldt Waste Management Authority] boardmembers, including Arcata Councilmember Michael Winkler, the decision was clear-cut – ACRC responded to a request for five-year contract proposals with an offer to process recyclables at a cost of $65 a ton. Renewable Waste Systems is offering to pay the HWMA $8 a ton.

Put another way, ACRC’s proposal would have cost the HWMA $2.2 million over the five-year contract period while RWS promises $280,000 in revenue.

So did Chairman Boyd ask for a chance to bring back a lower bid? Did he say he was going to have his board take a hard look at why the ACRC’s price structure was so laughably uncompetitive? Did he acknowledge the HWMA’s fiduciary obligation to ratepayers to provide the best service at the lowest cost?

Not exactly. Boyd said in an interview,

“I’m really disappointed with having supported the representatives on that board,” he said. “Their mantra throughout was, ‘Jobs, jobs, jobs,’ and here we go, shipping those jobs out of Humboldt County.”

And who cares if captive ratepayers would have to pony up 2 million unnecessary dollars to pay for them?