Pierson bestie to step down from Coastal Commission

Peter Douglas, the polarizing executive director of the California Coastal Commission and frequent Bill Pierson lunch date, announced he will retire at the end of November.

Read the San Francisco Chronicle article here.

It's our party and we'll cry if we want to.

New Coastal Commission chair fired for being as big a prick as the last one

Keep in mind this is Sara Wan's official portrait, which means it's a picture she wants people to see.

Coastal Commission chairpersons might have to put themselves on some kind of endangered species list.

First, Humboldt County voters remove one–former District Four Supervisor Bonnie Neely.

Now her successor, Sara Wan, loses her political appointment for double-crossing a former aide to John Burton–who just so happened to be the man who appointed her to the commission these last 16 years.


We quote:

Wan’s appointment as chair became controversial in January when former Senate President pro Tem John Burton sent her a profanity-laced letter on State Democratic Party letterhead (he is the current chair) accusing Wan of having “screwed Mary Shallenberger (a former longtime aide of Burton) out of the chair of the commission in order to gain it yourself.

(The “profanity” wasn’t all that interesting by Burton standards. One little bullshit, as in “No need to respond to this because I have no need to hear any of your rationalizing bullshit on this issue.” That barely counts.)

Importantly, Shallenberger had also been one of Wan’s staunchest defenders, a position that could easily have been a full-time job given Wan’s reputation as an obdurate, conniving, power-hungry ass.

Arnold York, publisher of Wan’s hometown daily the Malibu Times, describes Wan as follows:

Wan was never an easy appointment for a politician. She has many fans in the environmental movement, but she has also made many enemies along the way. Anyone who has ever sat at a Coastal meeting and watched Wan, as chair (she has served as chair once before), juggle the speaker slips so causes she favored came up early and the opposition usually put off to the end of the meeting, couldn’t help but come away with a feeling that they had been railroaded. Most politicians try to hide their power, but not Wan. She loves power and loves people knowing that she has power. She delights in rubbing everyone’s nose in her power and wants you to know that she’s doing it, which is one of the reasons Wan is detested by many, as, I certainly would venture, a significant portion of Malibu’s residents does.

Now who does that remind us of?

For those so inclined, see the news bit announcing word of Wan’s removal.

Photo credit: Wan family

Coastal Commission appointment leaves Lovelace time to pursue his passion for haute couture

Tres sexy, tres hip, tres Lovelace: Because smarminess is always in style.

From the Governor’s Office:

Governor Edmund G. Brown, Jr. today announced the following appointment.

Martha McClure, 58, of Crescent City, has been appointed to the California Coastal Commission. McClure has served as a Del Norte County Supervisor since 1996 and as a teacher in charge for the Del Norte Unified School District since 1984. McClure recently initiated discussions between commercial and sport fishermen, tribes and local environmentalists that produced a unified agreement on marine life protected areas off the Del Norte coast.  This collaborative model was adopted by Humboldt and Mendocino counties.

McClure will serve in the north coast slot on the commission representing the counties of Humboldt, Mendocino and Del Norte.  The appointee must be selected from a list of locally elected officials.  A Del Norte County representative has never served in this slot.

This position does not require Senate confirmation and the compensation is $100 per diem. McClure is a Democrat.


Ohhhhh....Gov. Brown, pick me, pick me.

Lovelace roadtrips to Sactown to lobby for Coastal Commission seat

It's worth noting that Brown's podium is only 4 feet tall.

According to sources close to the Third District Supervisor, Mark Lovelace isn’t sparing any taxpayer expense promoting himself to Gov. Jerry Brown in hopes of securing an appointment to the California Coastal Commission.

The diminutive elected official and former banjo builder reported during the Board of Supervisors meeting on Tuesday that he had attended several recent events at the State Capitol.

Included in Lovelace’s whirlwind tour was Gov. Jerry Brown’s presser on March 30 proclaiming “Welcome Home Vietnam Veterans Day,” a proclamation event declaring March 31 as “César Chávez Day,” a correctional system reform legislation signing ceremony for AB 109, and the governor’s keynote speech at the California Medical Association’s Annual Legislative Leadership Conference.

When pressed by the CAO’s staff, he also admitted to attending the Gov.’s recent rally for Girl Scouts where Lovelace apparently interrupted the event with chants of “Oooo, ooo!!! Pick me, pick me!!!”

Graphics Dept. unveils newest hobby sensation!

Marky Poo Lovelace Paper Doll Collection

While Humboldt County residents are trapped indoors from what seems like never-ending Biblical-proportion rain, the Humboldt Mirror Graphics Department dorks want to offer a pastime to while away the wet weather.

Yes folks, it’s the North Coast Proggie Paper Doll set. First up for your enjoyment is the Marky Poo Edition. Just click the link. Print out the paper doll. Carefully cut along the edges. We’ll provide the outfits. (When the Graphics Dept. is not on a PBR bender, of course.)

Because even if the hyperbolic Third District Supervisor isn’t really as big a champion for the environment, jobs or improving the county as he claims, we can always just dress him up to be. Right? Game on.

In keeping with the theme of Marky’s quest to land a spot on the California Coastal Commission and kill any hopes of a cleanup of Eureka’s Balloon Track property or Security National’s Marina Center project, here’s the wee fella’s first change of clothes.

Enjoy friends!

Petitioners call Lovelace a potential “embarrassment” to Governor

Huh. No mention of his Napoleon complex. Probably that's assumed.

A petition Mark Lovelace circulated to get Mark Lovelace appointed to the California Coastal Commission has been seriously upstaged by a competing petition titled “Mark Lovelace is wrong for California.”

The petition does a good job of stating the obvious:

Mark Lovelace fails to recognize the need for balance between economic growth and environmental preservation. His positions are extreme and he is a divisive force in our community. His appointment to the Coastal Commission would be both damaging to the economy of California and an embarrassment to you, our Governor.

While it’s true that our Governor has previously displayed an impressively high tolerance for embarrassment, his handling of the budget suggests he is not totally impervious to economic realities. It will be interesting to see what he does with this appointment.

So far, 149 people have signed the online petition, with an additional 700 signatures submitted to HCAOG during the wee wonder’s last attempt at world domination only three months ago.

Add your name here.

Luck of the Dumbass

The Patron Saint of Wee Genitals

In celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, we are sending along our best unlucky wishes to the diminutive and wee-genitaled leprechaun Mark Lovelace in his second bid to land a seat on the California Coastal Commission.

Although we would sleep a lot easier with a Mark Wheetley appointment, the Arcata City Council voted recently to throw Councilwoman Alex Stillman’s and Third District Stupidvisor Lovelace’s names into the hat for Gov. Jerry Brown to choose from for the job.

According to the Times-Standard, Lovelace said he was interested in the seat because of his involvement in specific coastal projects that give economic advantages to some businesses over others.

”The coastline is an incredibly valuable resource,” Lovelace said. “For Bill Pierson’s Building Center.”

Humboldt County 4th District Supervisor Virginia Bass and Fortuna City Councilman Ken Zanzi’s names are also being forwarded to the Governor’s Office for consideration for the job.

Zanzi had been appointed to the commission by outgoing Gov. Schwarzenegger and attended at least one meeting until incoming Gov. Brown got all butthurt and dismissed him to make his own pick. Let’s hope Brown doesn’t douche this one up.

Governor gives Lovelace new opportunity to be obsequious little prick, emphasis on “little” (and “prick”)

The man who would be king

The land of second chances lived up to its reputation for one diminutive supervisor yesterday when Governor Brown reversed the recent appointment of Ken Zanzi to the California Coastal Commission.

All that remains to be seen now is how many people and processes Mark Lovelace will gleefully trample to get his own hyper-ambitious self appointed to fill the seat.

Let the games begin!

Denied w/ Update

It's all cool. No hard feelings, right?

Outgoing Gov. Arnold delivered the best Christmas gift ever yesterday with his appointment to the Coastal Commission. The link and the text quoted below has since been scrubbed by Gov. Moonbeam.

Kenneth Zanzi, 67, of Fortuna, has been appointed to the California Coastal Commission representing the north coast region. He has been mayor pro tem of the city of Fortuna since 2010 and where he served as city councilmember from 2008 to 2010. Zanzi has owned Mad River Parkway Business Center since 1983. He worked for the Department of Fish and Game from 1965 to 1998 retiring as the deputy chief of the Wildlife Management Division. Zanzi is a member of the Fortuna Chamber of Commerce. This position does not require Senate confirmation and there is no salary. Zanzi is a Republican.

Sorry Mark. You’ll have to sit this one out.

January 3, 2011 update:

According to “Time running out for appointment to coastal commission” by the Times-Standard’s reporter and journalistic prognosticator John Driscoll, a few blogs must have jumped the gun on the news about the appointment of Fortuna Mayor Ken Zanzi to the Coastal Commission.

While outgoing Gov. Schwarzenegger’s website listed Zanzi among the Governator’s appointments as of Dec. 31, Driscoll hath decreed in an article posted on the T-S online edition today that everyone is still waiting to hear who will be appointed. The article states that Zanzi hadn’t heard anything from Schwarzenegger as of deadline on Thursday [Dec. 30, 2010].

Curiously, a lot has happened since then, including the appointment of Zanzi to the Coastal Commission.

But we are left wondering if Driscoll is now allowed to simply write his own news? Did the T-S institute “Future Reporting” to avoid all the hassle of having to actually wait for events to occur before reporting them?

Did they just screw the pooch on this article by running it four days old? Is there anyone running that paper?

Del Norte County to Mark Lovelace: Spank!–now with double-spank update!!

Lovelace's love of the spotlight and bright, vibrant fabrics are actually what spawned his interest in dance.

We begin with a correction.

A post a few days back said Mark Lovelace’s gift for self-promotion went “entirely unappreciated” by our neighbors to the north who pooh-poohed his written request that basically everyone, everywhere, back his nomination to the California Coastal Commission.

In fact, his extraordinary suck-up skills left an impression after all, although perhaps not the one he intended.

It turns out he and his letter were a topic of some discussion at Tuesday’s meeting of the Del Norte County Board of Supervisors.

Reports the Crescent City Triplicate:

Two men from Humboldt told the Del Norte supervisors Tuesday that they opposed Lovelace’s nomination. During  the public comment period, one man said he wants a leader with a more balanced point of view, noting that Lovelace is an environmental consultant.

Sullivan said he’s disturbed by rumblings that Lovelace has tried to fast-track his appointment and hasn’t followed the proper nomination process.

“Supervisor Lovelace seems to have hijacked that process and kind of jumped the gun,” Sullivan said. “There needs to be a reminder that the North Coast representative represents three counties, not just one.”

Not to worry.

The Del Norte supes voted unanimously Tuesday to nominate one of their own, Supervisor Martha McClure. Crescent City previously pledged to support whomever the county board put forward.

The Triplicate added,

If appointed by the governor, McClure said she will represent the North Coast by trying to find solutions that are agreeable to both sides of any issue.

Lovelace said if he’s appointed he’ll give himself another man makeover, maybe do something brand new with the beard, and buy a stack of the smartest neckties Kohl’s little boys section has in stock.

Okay, okay, not really. But the fact remains: No matter how you dress this guy up, he’s an idealogue who already has one bully pulpit too many.

Double-spank update: Local mayors hate him too!

Dorothy, you’re not in Arcata anymore.

Read Driscoll’s whiny Times-Standard article here.

Crescent City cockblocks Coastal Commission climber

The wee wonder was simply born for the stage.

Mark Lovelace’s gift for self-promotion went entirely unappreciated by the Crescent City Council which, after he sent a request for support of his nomination to the California Coastal Commission, voted instead to back someone–or actually anyone–else.

From the Crescent City Triplicate:

[Crescent City Manager Rod] Butler said the city received a letter from Humboldt County 3rd District Supervisor Mark Lovelace asking for support. Humboldt supervisors nominated Lovelace last week.

Instead, the City Council decided to send a letter to the governor supporting whomever the Del Norte County Board of Supervisors chooses to nominate.

You can’t fault the little guy for having big dreams, but this power-grabbiness is not a good look.

On anyone.

We all have our reasons

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger,

Bill Ayers and Mark Lovelace: A love story

Enough said.

Hugs, The Humbug

Click here to email the Governator your own thoughts about Lovelace’s nomination to the Coastal Commission.


Lovelace ‘actively seeking’ Coastal Commission seat

Mr. Governor, I'm down here. Mr. Governor....pick me.

In related news, Humboldt County is actively seeking a swift kick in its collective taco.

Fortunately, the Wee Wonder has extensive experience dealing with wetlands and other critical habitats.

The blind leading the inbred

That poor open-minded Coastal Commission. Mercilessly snubbed by the dastardly CUE VI! The humanity!! Oh well. After a full day of quashing free enterprise, the commissioners retired to Patty Berg’s house for a Bon Bon fundraiser. Because that, friends, is what impartiality is all about.

"Come on, guys. Show me the Ballon Track property again. Since I obviously can't get re-elected on the basis of what I've done, I need to make sure to score some points from the things I've undone."

By the way: Anyone know why the Coastal Commission is looking at a road up Humboldt Hill? That little “coastal zone” sure is getting big.

Oh, and Driscoll: The Coastal Commission being all together in Humboldt County is as “rare” as Christmas, you douche. It happens every year. Facts can be so inconveniently dull!