Wait. Who’s on first?

A Marina Center story in Saturday’s Times-Standard elicited this response regarding another local item on the California Coastal Commission’s December agenda. The agenda itself is here and the staff report on the item in question is here. Enjoy!

Notwithstanding the controversy regarding the Balloon Track, you may not be aware of a more egregious abuse of power by the Coastal Commission. If you look at the Commission’s Dec. 10 agenda you will note that there is also an appeal filed on the Eureka City Council’s action to approve a coastal development permit for Robert Colburn to construct an industrial warehouse on Washington Street. The site is industrial and has been for decades; it has an existing warehouse and the property owner just wants to build another warehouse behind the existing one of about the same size (congrats to the property owner if he can afford to grow his business in these hard economic times). The City’s approval of the coastal development permit was appealed by two Coastal Commissioners. There were no appeals filed by local persons or groups (no, not even Baykeeper, EPIC or NEC), there was no controversy and no press.

Why would the Coastal Commission take issue with the City Council’s approval of the coastal development permit? Because the property is adjacent to the Clark Slough and the warehouse would not be 100 feet away from the slough. ONE HUNDRED FEET! Give me a break! Just exactly where is the industrial growth supposed to happen if it cannot be on existing industrial property in the industrial area of the city?

And, do you want to know the kicker? I can’t even explain it properly, but I’ll try… Because Phase 1 of Marina Center will improve the aquatic habitat of the slough, it must be protected from encroachment by this industrial development… but, hey, isn’t that the SAME Phase 1 project that the Coastal Commission appealed to itself because (among other things) it didn’t do enough to protect the wetlands??? The Colburn project had a biological analysis done by local qualified professionals that included conditions for protection of the Clark Slough and improvements to the existing surface drainage on the industrial property. But that wasn’t good enough. Colburn can’t build a warehouse because it is too close to the Clark Slough which will be improved by Phase 1 of Marina Center but Phase 1 isn’t good enough which means Clark Slough may never be improved which means that the basis for the appeal of the warehouse is bogus!

It’s brilliance!!

Maybe we should call it Glass v. Tyson instead

Good thing this isn't political.

Eight paragraphs into the Times-Standard’s most recent front-page tome about the lawsuit filed against the City of Eureka and its manager, David Tyson, appears at long last an actual fact of the case:

Two council members, one current and one former board member, told the Times-Standard on Tuesday that they did meet with [plaintiff Tawnie] Hansen in the summer of 2008.

Inquiring minds are inexplicably then subjected to a 10-paragraph detour through unsubstantiated allegations before the reporter finally states what most of us had by then figured out on our own:

Reached Tuesday, former Eureka City Councilman Chris Kerrigan said he and sitting Councilman Larry Glass met with Hansen at some point in or around the summer of 2008, while Kerrigan was still in office.

Uh, yeah.

Not only does Kerrigan not remember when the conversation took place, the article goes on to state that he also can’t recall what he did with information he was legally mandated to report.

One doesn’t know, and the other isn’t saying: Glass at least has enough sense to keep his mouth shut.

So does this mean Tyson is innocent of the allegations? Obviously not. No one other than he and Hansen know for sure. And if he is guilty, swift and appropriate consequences should follow.

But what we do now know is that the only people thus far vouching for the accuser are two political archenemies of the accused.

Not that politics could possibly be involved in any of this….

New recycling bins a big hit with city officials, crack whores

Attack of the killer recycling bins

Attack of the killer recycling bins

The next phase in the city’s universal garbage program kicked off this weekend, as officials began delivery of 150-gallon recycling bins to every residence in Eureka.

The oversize receptacles are built to hold thousands of recyclable plastic, glass and aluminum containers, which methamphetamine and other drug users collect and sell to support their habit.

“Basically, these new bins are giant tweaker-bait holders,” said Miles Slattery, the city’s recycling coordinator, adding that crackheads and dope whores actually do the city a favor when they steal from residential recycling containers.

“Recycling reimbursements are at an all-time low and don’t even cover the city’s costs of collecting and hauling,” Slattery said. “So what we did was design the receptacles to ensure there would be no collecting or hauling.”

Slattery explained that the city selected the most garish color-scheme available, so junkies could easily spot the receptacles from the street, and made them so large they could never be concealed in any garage.

“Now junk monkeys can go dumpster diving in some of the city’s most affluent neighborhoods,” Slattery said. “It’s all part of making Eureka more livable.”

“We really thought this thing through,” said City Councilman Larry Glass, a proponent of the mandatory program. “Every drunk and dope ho in town’s gonna flip those cans to pull out the odd CRV bottle at the bottom. I mean, you can’t just pick the shit out like you could with the stacking bins. Then, after they dump everything in your yard, homeless addicts can then use the receptacles for shelter.”

They were designed to comfortably sleep four, he said.

“Also,” Glass added, “we’re hoping that after rifling through your trash they’ll go ahead and break into your homes and steal some of your electronics, which as you know contain metals that are harmful to the environment.”

Slattery estimated the city would shave 14 percent off of its waste diversion costs, which will be spent to pay police officers to respond to all the additional nuisance complaints.