O Captain, our captain: Way to show some sack

Despite our fake rivalry with Eureka Now’s Ryan Hurley, all of us here at Mirror HQ want to give the former Capt. Buhne big ups for the fearless and frequently hilarious campaign videos he has produced over the past few months.

It’s easy for anonymous bloggers to throw stones at the temple, safely ensconced as we are behind our mask of anonymity. But when Ryan crap-slaps Gags and the Bon Bon, he does so very effectively and in his own name.

And so we say to you:

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning.

That and if the withered-up old hooch loses this election, three words, friend: Tip, Top and Club. We’ll see you there.

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‘Marginally readable’? That’s one more for the Raves page!!

Captain Buhne looking better than ever

Captain Buhne: Lookin' good

Oh that’s right, bitches. We have arrived.

Local blogging pioneer Ryan Hurley has featured the Humboldt Mirror on his new website, Eureka Now!

Hurley, best known as writer of the now-defunct Buhne Tribune, praised the Mirror as “marginally readable” and offered a few useful tips to make the site suck even less.

“We’re just thrilled,” said a Humboldt Mirror spokesperson. “I believe I speak on behalf of the entire organization when I say what an honor it is to see this self-aggrandizing has-been try to coattail on our success.”

The spokesman said he appreciated Hurley’s advice and recognized that not everyone has “the total package” the more experienced blogger brings to the game.

“On one hand, he’s got the self-consciously clever YouTube videos he shoots in his mother’s garage. On the other, there’s his grand ambition to see his name at the bottom of an overwrought letter about Levi Johnston in the pages of Vanity Fair. He’s just going for it, flat out, and all we can do is look on with envy.”

The spokesman did note that Hurley’s efforts do tend to be “a little light on substance and a little heavy on Ryan Hurley,” but said people go into media for different reasons.

“The Mirror was intended to be a centrist antidote to the lunatic-left rantings of the Humboldt Herald, whereas Eureka Now! serves as a relentless homage to its creator. While we’re saying, ‘Oh, look, Bonnie Neely’s an effing idiot,’ he’s saying, ‘Oh wow, Ryan Hurley’s dick is so big.’ It’s just two different approaches.”

Although Hurley noted in the video that he gets asked every day if he’s seen the Humboldt Mirror, the spokesman said he had “never been asked, ever, not even one time,” if he had seen Eureka Now!

Eeny, meeny, miny–noooo!!

Morticia Sopoci-Belknap

Morticia Sopoci-Belknap: She's creepy and she's kooky, mysterious and spooky.

File this one under God Help Us All.

Could there be, as Ryan Hurley reports, a possible Bonnie Neely–Kaitlin Sopoci-Belknap showdown looming in the fourth supervisorial district?

You may remember Sopoci-Belknap as the Addams Family-esque champion of unconstitutional ordinances, massive water rate increases and specialized geriatric care.

Her candidacy would turn that race into the “Sophie’s Choice” of local elections, only without any hot chicks or convincing performances.

Deciding between those two would be like trying to choose which eardrum to puncture with an icepick, or which testicle to set ablaze.

Who knows. Maybe David Cobb was speaking out of turn, and when he got home from that interview someone gave him a very naughty spanking.

Photo ripped off from here and here.