If Gallegos makes a list of law enforcement officers with ethics problems, does he have to put himself on it?

Pot, kettle, etc.

The Times-Standard reports that Humboldt County District Attorney Paul Gallegos is making a secret list of of law enforcement officials “whose character and honesty have come into question.”

What could possibly go wrong with that?

So because we like to help–we’re givers, you know, deep down inside–we thought we’d get the ball rolling with a list of people in Gallegos’ own office against whom dishonesty has been not only alleged but judicially substantiated.

Our story begins with a routine DUI arrest in Ferndale and ends almost two years later with a California court of appeal tossing the case after finding that DA Investigator Wayne Cox and Deputy DAs Ben McLaughlin and Randy Mailman committed prosecutorial misconduct and violated the defendant’s constitutional rights.

A subsequent opinion upheld these findings and added Assistant DA Wes Keat–the number-two guy in Gags’ office–to the list of perpetrators.

Go team!!

The appellant, Rocky Crowl, was arrested in Ferndale in 2009 for allegedly driving under the influence. At the time of the arrest, the defendant and his two alleged passengers–Rocky’s girlfriend, named Jessica Sneed, and Rocky’s cousin Christopher Crowl who bore a “ballpark” resemblance to Rocky, according to court records–were out of the vehicle, and it was unclear which Crowl had actually been driving. Was it the drunk Rocky or the sober Christopher?

Sneed and Christopher didn’t help the prosecution’s case a bit when both testified at the preliminary hearing that it had been Christopher, not Rocky, behind the wheel. But this setback was only temporary, because the resourceful men and women from the DA’s Office had a solution: Tell the witnesses that if they testify at trial you’ll throw them in prison for perjury–or, to use the formal term for that activity, intimidate the shit out of the witnesses.

Cox had them arrested (over a 3-day weekend) and both charged with felony perjury and being an accessory to a felony. And then, maybe just because some things never change, McLaughlin offered them a deal in exchange for guilty pleas. Both refused.

Just how unusual was it to arrest and charge defense witnesses with perjury? The trial judge said that in 12 years on the bench, he’d never seen anything quite like it. According to the appellate decision,

We need not ignore the clear inference that the nearly unheard of conduct by the prosecution in this case was designed to intimidate these witnesses and keep them from testifying for defendant.

The court concluded

that the evidence in the record supports the trial court’s finding that the prosecution’s unnecessary urgency in arresting, forcefully interrogating, and filing perjury and accessory after the fact charges against Sneed and Christopher resulted in effectively precluding these previously willing defense witnesses from testifying at defendant’s trial. This was misconduct.

The court notified the California State Bar of its findings of misconduct by McLaughlin, Mailman and Keat.

Oh, and it also affirmed the trial court’s dismissal of the DUI case on the ground that the prosecution violated the defendant’s constitutional right to due process by intimidating defense witnesses.

So there’s four names for Gallegos’ Brady list. We’d put Gags on there too, except it’s pretty hard to question the character and honesty of someone who has neither.

Asleep at the Wheel (LIVE!)

I really wish I was surfing right now...

Thanks to the good people at KEET Channel 13 and the League of Women Voters for the opportunity to see and hear in High Definition just what a douche District Attorney Paul Gallegos is.

UPDATE 7:17 p.m.

What is the worst drug problem in the county?

Allison Jackson: Methamphetamine!

Paul Hagen: “Hands down” methamphetamine!

Paul Gallegos: Alcohol. ***Crickets chirping***

UPDATE 7:28 p.m.

Gallegos tells viewers that he has worked hard for the environment to make Humboldt County “safer for living life–both human and animal.” (What a fucktard. Psssstt Paul. Don’t try and say anything Salzman didn’t make you memorize.)

UPDATE 7:42 p.m.

Should the DA’s Office investigators have assault weapons such as AR-15s?

Jackson: Nope. I’ll take away their toys when I am elected.

Hagen: Allison’s right. I can’t understand why the DA’s investigators currently have them. DA investigators are not a SWAT team.

Gallegos: AR-15s are standard issue weapons given to law enforcement officers when they complete training. It’s basic logic here. DA investigators are law enforcement folks too, therefore it’s a mistake to get rid of them. (Psssst Paul. You’re fucking it up again. Shhhhhh. Don’t say anything. Maybe it would be a good time to take a bathroom break until this debate thingie wraps up. Nobody will fault you for a weak bladder.)

Allison Jackson

UPDATE 7:50 p.m.

On whether or not the DA’s Office currently reaches out to victims and involves them in the prosecutorial process.

Gallegos (Bitchslappee): I can’t believe that question got asked. Richard said he pulled strings and that one wouldn’t be used. Well, uh, yeah, uh, sure. It’s our policy to reach out to victims. We do a great job. Especially after I have almost completely dismantled the CAST team.

Jackson (Bitchslapper):  Nope. Please notice the dozens of victims and victim’s rights advocates who support me  ’cause you suck so effing bad. When I am elected, I’ll fix that.

The smart Paul.

UPDATE 8:04 p.m.

What are the strengths of the DA’s office and what would you do to improve the weaknesses?

Gallegos: I really like my staff. They are a tireless group of dedicated people who work hard. Well, the ones that I haven’t fired anyway. I will continue to promote hard work for others and make them do more (while I spend waaaaayy too much time trying and fucking up high-profile cases, as well as taking waaaayy too much time off.)

Hagen: Staff are always a strength, yadda, yadda, yadda. But, weaknesses? That would be leadership. I can’t see a lot of strength there.

Jackson: Staff are always a strength, blah, blah blah. Weakness that need to be improved? There is a failure and “utter lack of administrative” capability and an inability to recruit qualified upper and middle level staff that are vital to handling big cases. Oh, and the “mind boggling” amounts of plea bargaining going on Paul’s watch. Yup, I’ll fix that too.

UPDATE 8:14 p.m.

What’s been going on with crime in the county?

Gallegos: Crime’s way down since I have been DA. Just look at the statistics.

Jackson: Oh no you didn’t just fucking say that did you? Crime is up during your two terms dumbass, just look at the statistics.

Gallegos: What the fuck, yo? I encourage people to just look at the statistics. Facts don’t lie. (Plllleeeaaaassseee tell me that my people didn’t give me bad info. I am not good with math. This is going to hurt way worse than getting busted for my “original” writings, which were plagiarized from some law professor or other articulate and smart guy.)

Statistics: Well, I haven’t officially weighed in yet, but I have to tentatively agree with Jackson on this one. Paul’s not really good with numbers. Or details. Or the law, really.