Kuhnel goes on the Pierson payroll

 

Hey. No one ever said maintaining a monopoly would be cheap.

After weeks of declining to state publicly his opposition to the Marina Center, Third Ward city council candidate Ron Kuhnel made his stance refreshingly clear when he accepted a $2,000 campaign contribution from the man who stands to gain the most from the project’s continued obstruction.

Bill “the Big Hammer” Pierson previously ponied up two large for First Ward incumbent Larry Glass who, when he’s not lying about his support for the project, studies some of the finer points of American history and tells everyone how he’s chased around town by rich people in Cadillacs, or some such shit. Who knows. Fucker’s nuttier than squirrel crap.

Regardless, so much for the ol’ $500 contribution cap, yes? Apparently the only contributions these two are interested in limiting are their opponents’.

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Were Larry Glass heading toward his own political Alamo, would anyone explain to him what that meant?

Re-elect Larry Glass, because entrusting our future to a semi-literate bumpkin has worked out brilliantly so far.

As support for Eureka Ward 1 challenger Marian Brady continues to grow, some are wondering whether the political aspirations of the great Larry Glass may have hit the skids.

How could that be? It seems like only yesterday he was voted the county’s most popular public official. Although by stupid people. Who never met him.

But after his rental ordinance debacle, his breathless support for massive rate hikes, his hopelessly convoluted position on the Balloon Track cleanup, his public–and private–displays of immaturity and his general boorishness, Brady might just teach Glass a lesson he sorely needs.

While it’s far too early for a eulogy, just the thought of a Glassless city council has us waxing nostalgic for 2006 when the CREG spokesman was gearing up for his first run for office.

That’s when he said fun stuff like this: “We think there’s a better way to provide good jobs without handing over control of our future to wealthy elitists.”

Four years later, he still hasn’t figured out what it is.

And this: “It’s time for our City Council to follow the leadership of Peter LaVallee and demand that cleanup” of the Balloon Track.

Four years later, he’s still doing everything he can to stop it.

But our absolute favorite is this: If the Marina Center were built with a Best Buy, Glass said, “I’d be like Davy Crockett at the Alamo.”

Four years later, we wonder if anyone’s told him how that whole Alamo situation ended.

Oh well. Maybe next month he’ll find out.

Humboldt Gothic

Yes, Dynamohum, in truth you could benefit from a PhotoShop class. But so could we!! Regardless, we’re glad the spirit is willing, even if the technical skills are, shall we say, weak. Thanks for sending this along!

They may be homely, but they sure are belligerent.

SHOCKER: Prog blog reports Larry Glass is right about something else

Media darling and terrific dancer

In a development sure to set the blogosphere ablaze, the Humboldt Herald announced that, once again, Larry Glass was right about something, while everyone Larry Glass dislikes was wrong.

This most recent incident comes hard on the heels of previous Humboldt Herald reports that Glass knew something no one else knew, said something no one else had the nuts to say, was calm when everyone around him panicked, and rescued someone no one else would save.

The Herald stated that Glass additionally was brave when everyone else was frightened, and able to stick to a low-carb diet months after everyone else had gone back to pizza and beer.

“This guy is like effing Superman,” said one reader who asked to remain anonymous because he secretly thinks Glass is a boorish dimwit.

“But instead of working for the Daily Planet, Larry’s sending a nonstop stream of self-promotional horseshit to the Herald,” the reader said. “But I’m sure Larry knows what he’s doing. I mean, shit, Larry knows what everyone’s doing. He’s fucking Larry Glass.”

There have been additional unconfirmed reports that Glass has walked on water, healed the blind and raised a handful of old progs from the dead just in time for the June primary.

Glass is also said to have  turned water into wine, which Natalynne DeLapp made short work of.

In related Herald news, Rob Arkley continued his quest for world domination, David Tyson was still an asshole, Linda Atkins wasn’t nearly as unpleasant as she seemed, Bonnie Neely was democracy’s last hope, and Paul Gallegos they’d just as soon not talk about.

Larry Glass wants to punt tough zoo decision to voters

According to the Times-Standard, Larry Glass has secured a spot at tomorrow’s City Council meeting to ask that the fate of the Sequoia Park Zoo’s city-subsidized funding be placed in the hands of voters on an upcoming ballot as the city grapples with the sticky situation of cutting $2.5 million in midyear budget adjustments.

How could we not see this one coming?

Here’s a little reminder of the things that Glass supports and opposes. We’re sure the zoo funding has nothing to do with his hatred for anything related to Rob Arkley, who has donated considerable money to the zoo over the years…

George Clark: Still kind of a dumbfuck

In yesterday’s Times-Standard, failed city council candidate George Clark articulates some of the genius that sent his campaign straight down the ol’ crapper last fall.

A few highlights:

If 75 percent of residents cannot afford home ownership, give them no jobs. That will help.

If the Balloon Track is “essential for growth that actually begins contributing to the local economy,” let it lay vacant and polluted for several decades while you all sit around listening to yourselves talk. Also very helpful.

If “rural cities are limiting infrastructure costs and improving tax bases by expanding the compact lifestyles of their Old Towns to meet the explosion of single households, an aging population, and skyrocketing poverty and foreclosure rates”–well, that’s a nice use of buzz words, friend, but it doesn’t actually mean anything. At all. Really.

And finally, if you run for office and rack up only a couple hundred votes despite the desperate attempts of your handlers and the wads of cash Bill Pierson throws at you, have someone write a thousand words of laughably stupid shit to run in a newspaper under your name.

We keep coming back to one central issue: Lot of people can and do run around talking about their hopes and dreams for the city of Eureka. But all these years later, George, Bonnie, Larry, Pete, Bill, Ken and all their friends whose lives and livelihoods revolve around obstructing productive use of that land have done not one thing to clean it up, have articulated not one plausible plan for the site, and have raised not one dollar to put their plans into action.

All their money, time and attention has gone into making sure no one else does either.

Still no conflict?

He may be dishonest, but he sure is ugly.

So if it’s not a conflict if Eureka City Councilman Larry Glass has a years-long personal vendetta against a developer whose project he’s reviewing,

and not a conflict if Larry founded and fronted a group that exists solely to oppose the project,

and not a conflict if Larry distributed T-shirts and bumper stickers ridiculing the developer and his family,

and not a conflict if Larry personally funded a campaign aimed at undermining support for the development,

and not a conflict if Larry tried (and failed) to pursue criminal charges against the developer,

and not a conflict if Larry’s city council campaign was funded by the man who stands to lose the most if the development is approved,

then probably it’s also not a conflict if Larry serves as a director of an organization that is engaged in litigation against the city he represents, even if that litigation is aimed at reversing a decision of the city council on which Larry sits.

Sounds kind of slutty to us, but it must be legit.

After all, everyone knows how ethical politicians are.

California Native Plant Society
Jen Kalt (Secretary) jkalt@asis.com

Redwood Region Audubon Society
C.J. Ralph theralphs@humboldt1.com

Sierra Club North Group, Redwood Chapter
Felice Pace unofelice@gmail.com

Humboldt Baykeeper
Pete Nichols (President) pete@humboldtbaykeeper.org

Friends of Del Norte
Eileen Cooper upsprout@yahoo.com

Safe Alternatives For Our Forest Environment
Larry Glass lglass@foggy.net

Environmental Protection Information Center
Scott Greacen scott@wildcalifornia.org

At-Large:
Jim Clark (Vice President) dancebirds@sbcglobal.net
Martin Swett (Treasurer) mswett@pacific.net
Bob Morris (Trinity County Representive) bob.morris@wildblu.net