Ken Miller calls for wipees, fresh underpants, as completely normal guy enters Third District race

Far-left string-puller and perennial sore loser Ken Miller deposited a massive load of stink in his chinos Wednesday upon learning that mainstream Democrat Bryan Plumley would challenge enviro-fascist Mark Lovelace for the Third District seat on the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors.

“All of Mark’s supporters should be shit-their-pants scared of Plumley,” said MIller, who characterized the late entrant into the race as “a guy we’re going to have a hard time smearing, pardon the pun.”

“He’s like human Olestra,” Miller said. “He’s from Arcata, he’s a Democrat, he’s worked for years to create jobs in the county, he actually makes sense, and he hasn’t already alienated half the voter-base. If that doesn’t cause a little fecal urgency among his competitors, I don’t know what will.”

As of Wednesday afternoon, six candidates had filed the requisite paperwork to run for the post that was put up for grabs when John Woolley decided to step down at the end of his current term.

Candidates included Plumley, Lovelace, landscaper and former Arcata City Councilman Paul Pitino, former Sacramento politico Christopher Lehman, Harbor Commissioner Mike Wilson, and carpenter and Humboldt Coalition for Property Rights rep Lee Ulansey.

But by Wednesday night, after Miller rolled the major deuce in his drawers, the field had unexpectedly narrowed to three.

Ulansey withdrew to throw his support behind Plumley, while Wilson and Lehman dropped out for reasons unknown.

Only Plumley, Pitino and Lovelace remained.

Plumley, 40, an Arcata business leader, told North Coast Journal Editor Hank Sims that he had no particular agenda but was interested in “economic development” and “competent management,” both of which Lovelace opposes.

Miller said he plans to sue Plumley’s campaign for the cost of having his slacks cleaned replaced, plus a few hundred thou for the emotional distress and lingering stench the nearly foot-long stink-pickle left behind.

Advertisements