The latest and greatest from Abbot the Rabbit

Like we always say, magniloquent is as magniloquent does.

For more of Abbot’s decidedly dry wit, visit his new blog Moderated By Heraldo, located at http://moderatedbyheraldo.wordpress.com/.

Election Results Final*: Gallegos handlers cling to power for four more years

The Graphics Dept. begrudgingly delivers a Brian Wilson victory beard to Paul. But here's a hearty Mirror congratulations to Ryan, Mike and the other decent folks who won their respective races!

According to a guy who knows a guy who handed another guy a copy of the unofficial final election results, who then e-mailed them to us, District Attorney Paul Gallegos received 52.08% of the votes to challenger Allison Jackson’s 47.61%.

Jackson will return to the Harland Law Firm where she will continue to be a successful attorney and partner.

Gallegos will return to the DA’s Office where he will continue to suck horribly and make our community more unsafe, thanks to the 25,238 voters who care more about keeping vacuous progressive ideals afloat. Honestly, we can’t wait to read what Paul’s crackerjack political team cooks up for his next “My Word.”

On the bright side, nothing changed much in the 5th District race. Ryan Sundberg, with 50.57% of the votes, held on to his lead and defeated Patrick Cleary, who had 49.04%.

The close Eureka race changed little also. Mike Newman received 44.18% of the vote and Ron Kuhnel came in behind him with 41.95%.

And despite her ability to get her hands on and manipulate damn near everything north of Sacramento, Bonnie Neely was unable to change the election results and has still been kicked to the curb by Virginia Bass. By a lot. A lot a lot.

The results, summarized by the T-S, still need to be certified and presented to the Board of Supervisors, who are expected to deal with the matter on Tuesday.