James Faulk: The unauthorized translation

For those of you who struggled to understand what longtime Bonnie Neely apologist James Faulk was getting at in his opinion piece news article in today’s Times-Standard, we went to the trouble and expense of having it professionally translated into plain English. No reason why, really, except maybe so even stupid people like us can grasp how gifted a suck-up Faulk really is.

Here is the official translation:

Yeah Pierson gave Neely that $10 thou, but it’s not all about Arkley. Bill and Bonnie go way back, and I mean WAY back, to when Bonnie was helping him obstruct other potential competitors. Then some guy I don’t know from Oregon did $2 thou, then there’s the Hofweber thing, which isn’t weird at all, then, oh yeah, that building firm with Coastal Commission issues, gloss over that for the time being, and then like 50 cents each from some other people. Okay.

So that whole building firm thing–not an issue. Really. Because they destroyed the Dana Point coastline in 2004, whereas Bonnie wasn’t appointed to the Coastal Commission until 2004. See? Definitely not an issue. While I can’t attribute any of this, because it would be kind of dumb even by my standards to quote Bonnie defending Bonnie, trust me when I say she wasn’t involved in the major approval decision. Just in all those little issues subsequent to that. But hey, she said she voted for some and against others, and I’m sure she did. That’s how she rolls.

Now look away, people, or I’ll have to trot out another 1,500 words on her fucking dachshunds the week before the election.

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