Meanwhile, in the Fifth District, democracy breathes its last

Patrick Cleary, the man who would be chief.

A couple of e-mails purporting to originate from the amply fed bowels of Team Cleary state that the popular District Five candidate is “in a state of shock and disbelief” over his crap election results.

Says one: “None of us can figure out how you hire the kind of professional management we had and lose that badly to someone managed by Mostranski. And then there’s the other Pat. Even Higgins’ friends don’t like him and he may end up nosing out Cleary.”

The numbers, say another, have Cleary “rethinking politics altogether.”

Because, yeah. When people can’t move here from New York and use their daddy’s investment banking money to buy their way into elective office, is nothing sacred anymore?

Neely groundswell continues

The Bon Bon: Supported by lots of people she doesn't represent.

Fourth District harpy Bonnie Neely’s latest round of campaign filings contains a few interesting items.

Her FPPC form 460s show that recent contributors include:

  • two Coastal Commissioners
  • Pierson Building Supply (shocker!!)
  • Blue Lake Rancheria (another $10 grand from those Fourth District folk)
  • her estranged husband Terry Farmer
  • her brother-in-law Neal Sanders

Add that to the pot of cash she got from the So Cal developer with matters pending before the California Coastal Commission she chairs, and what emerges is the distinct crest of one big effing wave of popularity.

It’s a shame she doesn’t surf.

By one calculation, of the $22,634 Neely raised in this reporting period, a whopping 4 percent came from people living in her district.

Just try feeling that love!

(Oh and by the way, she spent $4,000 of that money on the same Sacramento consultancy firm Patrick Cleary is using to sell us something we wouldn’t otherwise buy, and another $6,000 on that push poll we mentioned earlier. She may be unpopular, but she sure is distasteful!!)

Cleary finds a use for some of that money coming out his ass

How do we know this shit? Fucking Zoltar told us, okay? Give him your treasure. He has much wisdom and all that crap. But check out Cleary's next round of FPPC expenditure forms. You'll wonder why he didn't retain Zoltar instead.

One of the great things about small-town politics is the absence of high-powered, high-priced campaign management firms. Candidates pretty much across the board rely on local talent–up-and-comers or has-beens who typically bring more energy than expertise to the race.

But that’s all part of the fun. Neely had Vogel, and Clendenen used that ass-hat Bill Thorington (or vice versa). Gallegos hired Pete Nichols’ hot ex-wife. Hagen’s got Brinton lined up for the district attorney race. Bass and Owen are rocking that husband-wife thing, and Leonard’s attempt also appears to be a family affair.

So why, then, would Patrick Cleary, the carpetbagging rich guy running for the supervisorial seat to be vacated by Jill Duffy, feel the need to hire a professional political consulting, lobbying and campaign management firm from Sacramento?

A firm that has represented Lieutenant Governor John Garamendi?

And Assemblymembers Noreen Evans and Mark Leno?

Duffy&Capitolo [weird, but no relation] is a political campaign management and media firm. Our creative strategies and powerful advertising win elections and move public opinion. We are proud to work with Democratic candidates, progressive coalitions and public safety organizations. Our services include:

  • Production of direct mail, television and radio advertising
  • Message development, media relations and speechwriting
  • Voter targeting and campaign plan development
  • Endorsement strategy and coalition building
  • Management of fundraising and campaign finance specialists
  • Coordination and analysis of polling, focus groups and opposition research
  • Supervision of field staff and Get Out The Vote (GOTV) effort

Oh well. So much for that whole grassroots thing.

Cleary clears out at HSU

Humboldt State University invites applications for the position of General Manager of KHSU-FM, the public radio station, licensed to, supported by, & located on the campus of Humboldt State in Arcata, California. As the most listened to radio station in its region, KHSU is experiencing growth & seeks a qualified individual to lead its team to new levels. Additional information about KHSU & this position may be found at http://www.khsu.org. Salary commensurate with experience. Generous benefits package. Interested candidates should submit a letter of application, current resume & three references to: hsuhr@humboldt.edu. Review of applications will begin
10/16/09

Patrick Cleary
Interim General Manager
KHSU

This want-ad’s been around for more than a week, but Cleary’s talking , cleverly disguised as a news story, ran in the Times-Standard only Saturday. Somehow, despite the speculation regarding the folk singer and former investment banker’s future, the reporter left no evidence of having asked what he planned to do next.

Will Cleary spend more quality time with his Indian casino business partners? Or is he gearing up to be Bonnie’s new bitch on the board of supervisors?

This last possibility seems well within the range of the possible, given the history we have here of far-left folk stumbling upon our little backwater and deciding to do us the great service of moving here so they, in their infinite wisdom, can tell us how to live our fucking lives.

Because, yeah. We need more of that.

County may trade in Neely in Cash for Clunkers exchange

3CH_Neely_Kohler

The future's so bright, she has to wear elbow-length rubber gloves.

The Humboldt County Board of Supervisors is considering an offer from the federal government that would put cash into county coffers in exchange for the retirement of forty-term supervisor Bonnie Neely.

The proposal is part of Cash for Clunkers, an incentive program designed to get old and inefficient politicians off the road.

Under the terms of the plan, the feds would pay the county $3,500 for the 60-year-old supervisor to retire, if the county replaces her with someone who works 5 percent harder than Neely, and $4,500 if the replacement’s work ethic is a 10 percent improvement.

Fortunately, said Neely, she has set the bar conveniently low.

“For the past year, I’ve done nothing for anyone, spent virtually no time in the office and only grudgingly dragged my ass in for board meetings, where I occupy much of my time texting Patty, Alex and Connie to arrange lunch and movie dates” she said. “Otherwise, I’m at home, working on fundraising, which is going not well at all, and dredging up new and increasingly compromised candidates to run in other districts.”

Other activities include the significant amount of time she spends sucking the left tit of the Blue Lake Rancheria, which is located in Jill Duffy’s Fifth District but in the last election cycle contributed $25,000 to Neely’s Fourth District campaign and $10,000 to Clif Clendenen in the Second District.

When asked if Neely was excited about the Cash for Clunkers proposal, longtime campaign manager and Impropriety Society dominatrix Meghan Vogel said the plan would save Neely the embarrassment of losing in the next election.

“No matter how hard she begs, she can’t get significant campaign cash commitments from anyone, other than the casino,” Vogel said. “If she did have to run again, our only hope would be a new fundraising strategy that would involve rolling Old Town drunks for change.”

Vogel added that at least Old Town is in Neely’s district.

“If that doesn’t work, she’s gone one way or the other,” the campaign manager said. “But it’s not like she hasn’t had other offers. Patty’s been trying for years to get Bonnie to work for her. Patty isn’t getting any younger, you know, and she has such a hard time keeping that big house clean all by herself.”