Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: Bonnie Neely, Mark Lovelace, Ralph Faust, Tornado of Dumb | 13 Comments »
Good thing we don’t have tornadoes around here
It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

Ah, now here's a classic scene from "The Christmas Story." Is it wrong of us to hope this Ralphie shoots his eye out?
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: A Christmas Story, Ralph Faust | 17 Comments »
Who says government isn’t efficient?
Within 24 hours of the filing of the last of three appeals challenging the city of Eureka’s approval of the Balloon Track interim cleanup plan, the California Coastal Commission published a surprisingly thorough 82-page legal and environmental analysis of the plan, along with the expected recommendation that the appeals be heard.
Weird, huh?
You don’t think maybe the commission got some kind of head start on that, do you?
Hmm?
Couldn’t be.
Even if one appellant was the commission’s lawyer for 20 years.
Or if the commission’s chair previously gave the appellant a job.
Or the appellant’s daughter is a commission staffer.
Or another appellant employs the first appellant.
Or two other appellants are current commissioners.
Or the commission’s executive director is a personal friend of the man whose business would be most affected by the Marina Center development.
No, those factors just make their achievement that much more impressive: It’s amazing they get anything done with that massive circle jerk they’ve got going.
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: Bill Pierson, California Coastal Commission, EPIC, Humboldt Paykeeper, James Baskin, Marina Center, Mark Stone, Northcoast Environmental Center, Pete Nichols, Peter Douglas, Ralph Faust, Randy Gans, Rob Arkley, Ross Mirkarimi | 52 Comments »
Ralph Faust asks Coastal Commission to stop cleanup of Balloon Track–with meaningless updates
And he reportedly did so, unlike in this photo, with a completely straight face.
Not that any of this is funny in the usual sense of the word. None of those pull-my-finger or naughty limerick jokes for him, the old coot.
No, with this appeal Faust definitely employs the stodgier ironic form–on multiple levels and to breathtaking effect.
We begin with the obvious: Faust, who works as an environmental attorney, is asking the Coastal Commission to prevent the cleanup of a contaminated former railyard from which toxins flow persistently into Humboldt Bay.
Then there’s the Coastal Commission itself, which was Faust’s employer for more than 20 years. He rose to the rank of chief counsel before a brief but memorably disreputable stint as Humboldt’s interim county counsel.
Handing him that gig on a golden platter was none other than Bonnie Neely, who now chairs the same organization to which Faust is appealing.
Which brings us to Faust’s self-righteous statements to his fellow planning commissioners just one week ago about recusing himself from discussion of three Arkley projects. Faust insisted he had always treated Arkley right but was selflessly stepping back from the projects to save the county time and money.
What a guy! Six days later he appealed the Eureka City Council’s approval of the interim cleanup which, if successful, would grind Arkley’s Marina Center development to a halt.
Have we left anything out?
Maybe just this: Faust, the man who purports to save Eurekans from the horrors of a nontoxic waterfront, carpetbagged his angry inch up here from San Francisco fewer than three years ago. He does not live–and in fact he has never lived–in or even near the city of Eureka.
Awesome!!
Meaningless Update 1: Today’s Times-Standard contains a longer list of appellants in a story we would link to if we could find it online. Meaningless Update 2: Bastards finally put the story up online this afternoon. Read your merry ass off here.Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: "angry inch" is generous, Bonnie Neely, California Coastal Commission, effing idiot, Eureka City Council, fuck all y'all, Humboldt County Planning Commission, Northcoast Environmental Center, pull my finger anyway, Ralph Faust | 52 Comments »
Four years already?? And us without a cake.
Is the Faustian reference a Freudian slip? Regardless, get your prog on and spend an evening with Pete Nichols and his two great loves: asking for money and talking about himself. The cost is only $45 and your last shred of self-respect. Enjoy!!

This may be indicative of a lack of the larger imagination, but we have a hard time with "party of the year" and Ralph Faust in the same thought. Is it just us?
Filed under: Humboldt County | Tagged: get your prog on, Goethe and Marlowe's Faust, Humboldt Paykeeper, Pete Nichols, Ralph Faust, Taj Mahal: Innocent victim, us without a cake | 23 Comments »