In daring social experiment, Gallegos learns the hard way that dismissing felony sex offenses does little to make our community safer

"Okay, but Allison Jackson can't surf for shit."

 But who knew, right?  

I mean, at the very least it was worth a try. Or fifty tries, or a hundred, or however many it’s been since we hitched our criminal justice wagon to this stark raving ballsack.   

But don’t take our word for it. Let’s hear the story from the the Times-Standard and the district attorney himself. Because somehow it sounds even stupider that way.  

This is the third time [Dr. Robert Alan] Mott, 59, has been charged with a sex-related crime. Thus far, he has not been convicted. In 1997, he went to trial on a charge of child molestation and was promptly acquitted by the jury. In June 2004, the longtime local physician was accused of felony sexual battery of a female patient, and also of later stalking the woman. Criminal charges were dismissed in June 2007 after Mott complied with a variety of conditions demanded by the prosecution….  

“Certainly we are familiar with Dr. Mott,” Gallegos said, “and because of that familiarity we see his conduct as very, very serious. It’s completely unacceptable.”  

Gallegos said that in the past Mott received an acquittal and then a warning, but “here we see Dr. Mott again.”  

I mean–Shut your pants!! Here he fucking is again, that naughty Dr. Mott. I totally would have thought a warning would do the trick.  

But hey. Since our county is clearly on the cutting edge of alternative punishment, we took the liberty of compiling a quick list of other penalties the DA might employ to address Dr. Mott’s improprieties. Gallegos could: 

  • Send him to bed without supper.
  • Wash his weiner out with soap.
  • Suspend his allowance.
  • Give him an exceptionally stern talking to.
  • Call a good five or ten minute time-out. (Tough love, people. Tough. Love.)
  • Have him write 50 times on a blackboard “I will sexually assault fewer people.”
  • Take away his porn and video games for a week.

Or, and this is more likely to be the approach Gags takes, screw this up again so someone else gets hurt.  

Let’s just put it this way: Certainly we are familiar with Paul Gallegos, and because of that familiarity we see his conduct as very, very serious. It’s completely unacceptable.  

And just like Dr. Mott’s new charges–completely, devastatingly predictable.