O Captain, our captain: Way to show some sack

Despite our fake rivalry with Eureka Now’s Ryan Hurley, all of us here at Mirror HQ want to give the former Capt. Buhne big ups for the fearless and frequently hilarious campaign videos he has produced over the past few months.

It’s easy for anonymous bloggers to throw stones at the temple, safely ensconced as we are behind our mask of anonymity. But when Ryan crap-slaps Gags and the Bon Bon, he does so very effectively and in his own name.

And so we say to you:

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning.

That and if the withered-up old hooch loses this election, three words, friend: Tip, Top and Club. We’ll see you there.

Effing hysterical

A modern classic from Captain Buhne. Thanks, friend!!

Local man wins much-needed home makeover

HurleyHomeMakeverBefore-After_2

Oh that's way better. Now if you could just scrub some of the gross off that piano and promise to never ever try to sing again.

Local blogger-turned-newscaster Ryan Hurley is making headlines again–this time for submitting the winning video entry in a nationwide search for the ugliest home decor.

His prize? A complete home makeover, courtesy of Home Depot.

Designer and contest judge Ernesto Fabri said Hurley’s submission was in a class all its own.

“Rarely does one see a room so lacking in style,” Fabri said. “It doesn’t even know what it is. It seems to ask, ‘Am I a living room? a hallway? a bathroom? a foyer?’ I mean, give us a hint, per favore, so we know whether to shit or wipe our feet.”

Fabri added, “And ugly–buon dio! When Ty Pennington saw it, he had a good cry and then hanged himself with an exquisite damask drapery. To the end his taste was impeccable.”

Hurley’s interior design was so uninviting that Eureka City Councilman Larry Glass drafted an ordinance that would force him to remove the inspirational wall hangings and update his color palette.

But competition in the contest was considerable. Hurley barely edged out fake homeless guy Arcata activist Tad Robinson and Eureka slumlord property manager Floyd Squiers.

“I’m the luckiest man alive,” Hurley said. “Not only did I win all this tits new furniture, I still have that dead-end job with the city and a video blog absolutely no one watches. It’s like one big dream come true.”

Eeny, meeny, miny–noooo!!

Morticia Sopoci-Belknap

Morticia Sopoci-Belknap: She's creepy and she's kooky, mysterious and spooky.

File this one under God Help Us All.

Could there be, as Ryan Hurley reports, a possible Bonnie Neely–Kaitlin Sopoci-Belknap showdown looming in the fourth supervisorial district?

You may remember Sopoci-Belknap as the Addams Family-esque champion of unconstitutional ordinances, massive water rate increases and specialized geriatric care.

Her candidacy would turn that race into the “Sophie’s Choice” of local elections, only without any hot chicks or convincing performances.

Deciding between those two would be like trying to choose which eardrum to puncture with an icepick, or which testicle to set ablaze.

Who knows. Maybe David Cobb was speaking out of turn, and when he got home from that interview someone gave him a very naughty spanking.

Photo ripped off from here and here.