How many times can Gags’ campaign lie about a job that never even existed?

Paull Gallegos and Natalynne DeLapp share a quiet moment of dishonesty.

Hoo-wee this is getting fun!

Not to be left out, Humboldt County District Attorney Paul Gallegos’ ridiculously hot “campaign manager” has now officially joined the rest of the campaign staff in lying about Paul’s impressively spotty work history.

And how’s that working out for her? Really not all that well.

Maybe that’s what you get when you pay some ditzy eye candy a shitload of donated money to pretend to manage a campaign that’s being fucked up just fine, thank you, by one of Humboldt County’s most notoriously disreputable douchebags. Because, you know. What could possibly go wrong with that?

At this point, seemingly everything.

Let’s review.

And here’s where it gets even funnier! Gallegos’ “campaign manager” Natalynne DeLappdance, from her post under the bus,  sends a poorly written e-mail to the blogosphere’s own Capdiamont stating the mistake was hers, not Gags’.

To wit:

I take full responsibility for the language that was written on the website. Yes, it did in fact say Paul worked as a DDA in LA, but that was my mistake and misunderstanding, not Paul’s. Paul did not misrepresent himself, I made a mistake. When I became aware of my error, I fixed the record.

And about the Times-Standard story?

Paul has never claimed to have worked for the LA Co. DA’s office check the Times Standard article yourself….

So we did.

In an article that appeared in the May 22 Times-Standard, Greenson wrote:

After law school, Gallegos said, he spent some time as a deputy district attorney in Los Angeles before venturing out to start a private practice.

Seems pretty clear to us.

Maybe English isn’t her first language.

Or maybe integrity just isn’t her thing.

Regardless, Natalynne, thanks for thinking of us in your e-mail. Being called blatantly dishonest by a person of your moral caliber is something not unlike high praise.

Hugs!!

[Capdiamont: Thanks again, friend!]
Advertisements

Vote Paul Gallegos, because congenital dishonesty is a quality one looks for in a district attorney

Good ol' Gags. He cannot tell a lie (unless it's one he's able to plagiarize from someone else).

Two pages before the major dick-smack Hank Sims gave Paul Gallegos over the latter’s blatant misrepresentation of county crime stats, the world’s dumbest district attorney had already moved on to his next fictional accomplishment.

This one came in the form of an advertisement which states Gags “won” a million-dollar judgment against Big Oil and Tire Co., litigation in which neither he nor his office was meaningfully involved.

Instead, the case was assembled and managed by the state Attorney General’s Office on behalf of the State Water Board in conjunction with the California District Attorney’s Association of which, presumably, Gallegos is one of at least 58 members.

Arguably not the sort of thing to toot one’s own horn over.

Insiders, however, were quick to note that Gags was not entirely uninvolved.

While it’s true his office did not conduct an investigation, did not file motions, did not prepare briefs and did not participate in settlement talks, we’re told a secretary in his office did forward to the AG documents assembled by the county’s Environmental Health inspectors.

Oh, and he also lobbied to get added to a news release two months before an election.

What a leader!

When reached for comment, Gallegos said he would take credit for his own accomplishments if he had any.

Okay okay, we made that last part up.

We could fuck up his campaign for half of what she’s making

In this week’s North Coast Journal, Team Gags’ high-priced fake campaign manager learns what reporters do for a living.

Originally thought to be a priceless work of art, this photo turned out instead to be, like its subject, a total and complete fraud.

Arts Gallegos

Inside District Attorney Paul Gallegos’ campaign headquarters — 321 3rd St. in Old Town Eureka — Arts Alive! patrons were exhibiting their native behavior: milling about, socializing, vaguely gazing at paintings while gnoshing delicate mouthfuls of crackers and oily salami. At the counter of the former coffee house, a woman absentmindedly ran her fingers through a basket of campaign buttons while chatting with the volunteers on the other side. In the course of their banter she offered an endorsement as tepid as the San Pellegrino orbiting the room in clear plastic cups: “Regardless of personal feelings,” the woman said blithely, “I don’t think we have another candidate who’s a better option.”

Impassioned, full-throated endorsements have fallen off a bit since 2004, when Humboldt County’s DA fought off a recall challenge bankrolled by villainous Texan Charles Hurwitz’s Pacific Lumber Company. Such an enthusiasm decline is to be expected, argued Gallegos’ campaign manager Natalynne DeLapp. “It’s the nature of the job,” she said after side-stepping some new arrivals. “If you’re in the court system, you’re not going to be happy.” And with roughly 12,000 cases prosecuted each year, that makes for plenty of unhappy voters. Still, as the campaign swings into full gear (phone-banking sessions are now happening four days per week) DeLapp is cautiously optimistic — though with four candidates in the field, she admitted that a runoff is very likely. “It’s gonna be between Allison Jackson and Gallegos,” she predicted confidently.

DeLapp casts challenger Paul Hagen in the role of potential spoiler. The former environmental prosecutor could split the progressive vote, she said before launching into a litany of reasons why he shouldn’t. “I don’t know who told him to run,” she said bitterly. Regardless, Gallegos has more than seven years of experience. “Paul’s grown into this job,” DeLapp said. “We’ve trained him on our dime, [and] he needs to be able to continue.”

Gallegos himself stayed busy pressing palms and greeting supporters as they filed through the room, which was adorned with paintings of ocean waves. DeLapp pulled him from a jovial huddle to speak to a reporter. Yes, he said, a November runoff is likely inevitable. “Numerically you’d have to expect that.” And he agreed that whether his experience serves as an asset or a liability will depend largely on each voter’s experience with the court system. Personal grudges are unavoidable, though. “That’s part of the job,” Gallegos said, “which is why I focus on doing [the job] rather than keeping it.”

— Ryan Burns

All the not-so-pretty horses

Let’s hope Paul Gallegos has Mandrake the Magician on speed-dial, because our illustrious District Attorney went and did some more dumb shit he’s gonna want everyone to forget about by election time.

So remember while you still can the 39 horses seized Aprl 1 from a Myers Flat farm. The ones standing on deformed and infected hooves in crowded pens, knee-deep in feces, matted, filthy, crawling with lice and—oh yeah, starving.

Those horses.

Steve Knight, the sheriff’s lieutenant who runs the county’s animal shelter, requested numerous felony charges against their owner, 68-year-old Elsie Smith.

But sources at the county tell the Humboldt Mirror that the DA, in his unfettered authority and infinite wisdom, elected to file only two misdemeanor charges against Smith.

Not two charges for each horse. Two charges total—one for neglecting all of the horses, the second for hiding a fortieth horse during the seizure.

It’s silly to think throwing some little old lady in the slammy for hoarding horses would provide any kind of positive outcome to this case. But had Gallegos gotten even one felony conviction, he could have suspended the sentence, placed Smith on probation, and prevented her from owning horses again for several years.

Instead, the 10 horses Smith has thus far elected not to sign over to the county may quite likely be returned to a woman with an at least 10-year history of animal neglect.

Donations to offset the expense of caring for the horses can be sent to Heart of the Redwoods Horse Rescue at P.O. Box 226 in Cutten, 95534.

We bugs have dug into the couch cushions and even the beer fund to send a few bucks to this worthy organization. But we’d be willing to dig deeper, much deeper, to support an equally worthy candidate willing to run against Bozo the DA in 2010.

Any takers?