BREAKING: Lovelace, Girard do their jobs

This headline comes straight from the Will Wonders Never Cease Department:

Lovelace, county help Cypress Grove find new dairy site

That the headline isn’t exactly true diminishes our amazement but little. According to the Times-Standard article, District 3 Supervisor Mark Lovelace and Community Disservices Development Director Kirk Girard are helping Cypress Grove look for a new dairy site. Hopefully their uncharacteristic public support of business will persist all the way through to the finding stage of this endeavor. Fingers crossed!

Also from the Times-Standard isĀ a story yesterday about beginning the search for a new EPD chief. Curiously, even inexplicably, our favorite local daily chose to illustrate the article with a photo of former EPD chief Garr Nielsen.

What, exactly, might that be about? Were they trying to depict the last person on earth who might get hired for the job? Or does someone need to break out the Andrea Bocelli cassettes and tell poor, sad Mr. Greenson over there that it is, in fact, time to say goodbye?

Tan triste, amigos!!

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When good acronyms go bad

Are we effing dyslexic?

Early-morning readers of the Times-Standard’s website were treated to yet another headline error, this one stating that “EDP” officers would be joining the Sheriff’s SWAT team.

When asked if the Eureka Police Department had changed its name, Times-Standard ace reporter Thadeus Greenson said it had not, and explained that the newspaper was “experimenting with a variety of error formats” intended to enhance the readership experience.

“Any newspaper can screw up complicated things,” Greenson explained, “but we’re focusing our efforts on making mistakes that are accessible to everyone.

“I mean fuck,” he said. “We misspelled a fucking three-letter acronym in a headline. It doesn’t get much more accessible than that.”

He added that future flubs could include inadvertently reporting both sides of a story, and continuing to run John Driscoll’s sappy column.