This week in stupid

On this gray Easter morning, we review the week that was.

This Week in Stupid III

Douchebaggy Award

Douchebaggy Award

It was only a matter of time until the Arcata City Council walked away with this prestigious award. And while competition is fierce every week, this one was a no-brainer.

Congratulations to the council for dragging along a Danco housing project for more than six years before rejecting it and then refusing to reconsider–because, as Mayor Mark Wheetley said, the city wants to utilize its resources and staff time “for other projects that were at hand.”

Other projects? You’re working on other projects? Good enough for us. We’ll be thrilled to see at the end of Wheetley’s term how many of these other projects have come to fruition and how many housing units have been added to meet state mandates.

More likely, though, what we’d see is how much more time and money the council dumped down the nuclear-free dumb-hole with a big, steaming pile of nothing to show for it.

Doesn’t it seem like tracking things like that might be a good way to evaluate an elected official’s performance? Instead, Arcatans seem to vote according to how convincingly candidates can sob all over themselves about the sad plight of the homeless and the tragic lack of decent, affordable housing, and then manage to act surprised when it turns out that obstructing and villainizing housing developers does nothing to improve the situation.

That’s taking stupid to an award-winning level. So be proud, Arcata! This Douchebaggy’s for you!!

This Week in Stupid II

Douchebaggy Award

Douchebaggy Award

Kirk Girard.

Let’s discuss.

Community Development Disservices Director. Closet Humboldt Mirror reader. Prolific vanity Googler. Fucking idiot.

This is what we know, but there’s so much more we don’t know.

So let’s just ask.

1. Kirk, if the purpose of the Housing Element is to create additional affordable housing, why, then, does the plan propose so many new restrictions on, barriers to and costs for new construction?

2. If a “public hearing” is a formal opportunity for board members to receive public opinion on matters that may eventually require their action, then why at Tuesday’s public hearing did you do all the talking and the public do all the hearing?

3. Are you aware that many of the people who attended Tuesday’s hearing wanted to comment on your crap-ass public input process, but were unable to stay late enough to provide that public input after you demonstrated their point by making them wait three hours while you read aloud from a staff report?

4. How is it that you’ve had more than two years to bring to the board a housing plan that makes some kind of sense, but here you are now with less than two weeks until deadline still not understanding basic terms and processes and with a document that after 20 pages of corrections Tuesday still isn’t even close?

We could go on like this for days, but we won’t keep you. You’re a busy man. You must have all kinds of permits to deny, plans to disapprove, projects to obstruct, reports to conceal and taxpayer money to waste.

So for all you do, Kirk, this Douchebaggy’s for you. Congrats!!

This Week in Stupid

douchetrophyWelcome to the first edition of This Week in Stupid, a new weekly column in which we will present the coveted Douchebaggy Award to the person or persons who best exemplify the mental ineptitude that has made this county the clusterfuck it is today.

Our first week of competition turned into a tag team event. Larry Glass and Sheryl Schaffner, with their poorly conceived rental housing ordinance, faced off against the relentlessly opinionated husband-wife duo of Jeff Schwartz and Marcy Burstiner, whose contributions to American letters last week proved even stupid people can become lawyers and college professors.

First, Mr. Schwartz lamented the difficult lot of the professional classes who, even with their multiple degrees and cush jobs, still can’t always afford to send their kids to private schools. Not only that, but now they’re expected to pay for their own childcare, and they have no special immunity to contagious disease. Our hearts break! But, uh, counselor? You do recall that you recently quit a job that paid $96,000 a year, which is more than three times the average Humboldt County income, right? So honestly–how sorry for you do you expect us to feel?

Ms. Burstiner, meanwhile, took local media to task for failing to describe the budget cuts that caused her to be furloughed three days a month as “tragic.” Well, professor, one person’s “tragedy” is another’s balanced budget. If you’re teaching your journalism students to insert this kind of opinion into the news stories they write, maybe your three-day furlough should be described as “inadequate” instead.

So Jeff and Marcy, this Douchebaggy’s for you!

Well that’s it for now. Stay tuned for the next installment of This Week in Stupid. Send your nominations to